1 one-shot: Charlie/Hermione
Apr. 5th, 2007 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amorphousTitle: Voices in Her Head
Pairing: Charlie/Hermione
Word Count: circa 5100
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: smut, dark themes, character deaths
Summary: Three down; five to go, she thought in a tone that was unnatural...
Author's Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
idea_of_sarcasm and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hp_springsmut. Thank you so much to my wonderful beta, jandjsalmon.
Three down; five to go, she thought in a tone that was unnatural.
After watching the familiar body fall to the ground, lifeless and heavy, she turned to walk down the hall. She used all the grace she processed to be silent. The door was ajar when she reached her destination and she pushed it open slowly.
Her target was stretched out on his bed. His arms were beneath his head and his eyes closed. He looked totally relaxed and utterly unsuspecting. He didn't notice her entrance until she forced a sob to escape her mouth. He jumped at the sound and turned to look at her in surprise.
His face was full of concern when he saw the tears running down her face and her body shaking with mostly silent sobs. "Hermione," he whispered as he stood up. He walked to her and without saying a word; he enveloped her in the warmth and protection of his embrace. He was familiar and felt safe so she wrapped her arms around him.
Do it now, a voice in her head commanded her.
What? No! another voice argued.
Now! Kill him! came a third voice.
Murder the Muggle-lover, a forth angry voice demanded from inside her head.
No, denied the second voice again, but in a much weaker voice that could barely be heard.
The second voice sounded like herself, like her thoughts always sound, but the other three voices were unknown to her. They were angry and forceful, quieting her own personal voice.
She pulled out of the embrace and stumbled backwards. Her body was now shaking with real sobs as she fought the urge to raise her wand. "No!" she tried to yell her defiance, but instead it came out as almost inaudible whisper.
He watched her in confusion.
Kill him now! a hateful voice screamed inside her head.
The desire to kill the man in front of her was almost overwhelming. Knowing she couldn't overpower it completely or for very long, she ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She stopped just outside the door and leaned against an adjacent wall. She was breathing heavily through her exertion to not listen to the voices in her head; her body shook with genuine sobs. She slid down the wall and sat on the floor. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her head on her arms as she tried to calm down.
The door opened beside her, but she refused to look up. She didn't want the temptation for the voices to start screaming again. She felt him wrap his arms around her to comfort her, and she didn't move away. In truth, his warm and comforting embrace was welcome. He rested his face against her hair and she felt him gently kiss the top of her head. She didn't move.
A blood-curdling scream broke through the silence of the moment, forcing her to look up. The three angry voices in her head suddenly erupted in sadistic laughter.
"What the hell?" the man holding her blurted out. He released her from his hug and stood up to go find out what had caused such a scream.
She followed him as a reflex. She had a nasty feeling in her gut that she knew what had caused the scream. He led her to Ron's room where Mrs. Weasley was sobbing hysterically. The older woman's body was wracked with sobs as she sat on the bed. Her eyes were staring unblinkingly at something on the floor.
She followed her glaze instinctively. Ron's body was lying lifeless and unmoving on the floor. He was unmistakably dead. There was nothing wrong with his body though, and the only thing that could cause that was the Killing Curse.
Nausea suddenly washed over her as she stared at her friend's body. He's dead, she thought. Even the voice in her head sounded like it was grieving.
Three down; five to go! one of the other three voices rejoiced inside her head. It was clear that the voice was happy about Ron's death.
He didn't even see it coming! another of the hateful voices boasted.
Her nausea increased as she realized that she had just left this room. She had been in here moments before… Flashes of a series of events ran through her mind. Ron smiling, and then his smile falling from his face. Angry accusations flew.
"I don't love you! I never did!" screamed her own voice.
"Hermione, you can't mean that. We…" Ron's voice was pained as he looked at her with a broken look in his face.
"You're immature, and I don't love you! I'm sorry I lead you on, but it's over," her voice yelled. It was full of anger and hurt.
Ron turned away from her. When his back was to her, she noticed that her wand flew up and words fell out of her mouth that she didn't remember forming. Avada Kedavra, she whispered in a voice full of hate. She watched as Ron's lifeless body fell to the ground.
Her body shook as she remembered what she had done. Her actions had been involuntary, as if someone else was controlling her.
Oh good, she finally remembers, a voice inside her head said in assumed tone.
It took her long enough. I thought she was supposed to be "gifted!" another voice joined in the mocking.
Oh, God, her own voice whispered inside her head, I killed Ron.
And that's not the only one! the first voice informed her in a joyful tone.
Images flashed in her mind's eye of George and Fred Weasley's bodies collapsing with no sign of injury. I killed them too? her voice questioned the other three.
They laughed, filling her head with echoing laughter. Yes, you killed them too. And you're not done. We aren't done with you yet.
The voice was threatening her. She felt scared – not just of the disembodied voices in her head – but of herself and what she was capable of. She was a murderer.
The man she had been with moments before spoke. "Hermione, are you okay?"
She hadn't realized it, but she was staring at her friend's body in a dazed expression as she recalled her acts. "What? No, I'm not okay."
The man took a step closer to her, and she took a few rapid steps back to put more distance between their bodies. With a fleeting look at the body, she ran out of the room. She didn't stop running until she had reached the front door. She pulled it open and let it slam shut behind her with the force of her pull. She ran out into the yard, and collapsed on the ground when she felt she was a safe distance from the house.
I always knew it took a special kind of person to murder, one of the voices said in a mocking thoughtful voice.
She just doesn't have what it takes to do what she has to, another voice added.
That's why we're here, the final voice said in a self-righteous tone.
No. I won't be a murderer, her own voice spoke up. It was much quieter than the others, full of despite and hopelessness.
Honey, I hate to tell you, but you already are, the second hateful voice told in her a voice that was meant to be comforting, but instead of condescending.
She allowed herself to get into the fetal position and wrapped her arms around herself to try to control her shaking. The voices in her head argued with each other as they tried to decide their next step. Her own voice was silent now, drowned out by the hate and anger the others radiated.
"Hermione," a soft male voice whispered from behind her. She felt someone place their hand on her back and she jerked away as if he had burnt her. "Hermione, please."
She shook her head. She didn't trust herself to look at him or her words to form correctly.
He was kneeling beside her. Without her permission he wrapped her in his arms. His touch was comforting, and she didn't have the strength to move away. "Hermione, I know."
The words echoed in her head and she felt vomit rising in her throat.
He knows nothing! one of the voices screamed in her head.
The other two merely laughed.
"Hermione, I know it hurts," he embellished. "I hurt too. I just wanted…" His voice choked briefly, preventing him from finishing his sentence. He cleared his throat. "I just wanted you to know that we found Fred and George's bodies, too. In the attic."
Her body shook harder with her sobs after he confirmed her fears. He rocked her back and forth in a soothing motion, trying to calm her down as he whispered words of comfort to her. She didn't have the strength to move out of his arms in the onslaught of emotions that consumed her.
"It's okay," he whispered. His lips pressed against her hair.
"No," she finally whispered. Her voice sounded foreign to her ears.
"No what?" he questioned, his voice calm and soft. She was amazed he could control himself to this extent after just finding out his brother's had been murdered.
"No, it's not okay."
He didn't respond as he continued to rock her.
No one will ever suspect you. Just keep quiet, and you'll be fine! a voice yelled inside her head.
Make him think he's helping. God, that will be amusing! another voice told her.
The third voice laughed. Pitiful and weak people like you make me sick.
"Hermione…" his voice trailed off.
She pulled away finally, feeling too weak to resist the urge to face him. The voices egged her on as she turned to look at him. He looked at her with brown eyes full of sadness, concern, and unshed tears. He leaned forward and his lips fluttered over hers in a brief moment of feather-like contact. She didn't back away from his advance, and he took that as permission to repeat his kiss.
This time the kiss was no longer merely a touch of lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Her tongue delved in his mouth to taste him as he tasted her. Their tongues danced as the voices in her head encouraged her and laughed. He kept one arm wrapped around her back and the other reached upward and tangled itself in her hair.
After a few moments of passionate kissing, she pulled away. She was breathless and her heart was pounding against her chest. He rubbed her back as he looked down at her. His eyes that had been full of concern before was accompanied by affection. Real affection.
Kill him now! one of the twisted voices in her head demanded.
"No," she whispered in a strong voice. For the first time since the voices invaded her mind, she felt strong enough to resist.
"I'm sorry," he said, dropping his arms. He thought she was telling him no.
"Oh, Merlin, Charlie, not you," she tried to reassure him. Her voice was weak again, but it was still audible and steady.
He looked at her, confused and caring. She managed a weak smile, and he returned the smile though it didn't reach his eyes. Reaching up, she caressed the side of his face thoughtfully. Her feelings for him had been growing since the war had started; she knew every scar from the dragons. She knew what he loved, what he hated, what he thought. On the outside it seemed as though she was in love with Ron, and she did love Ron, but not that in that way. He was her best friend, but nothing more. The man sitting beside her had become more.
Kill him! one of the voice commanded. It was angry and strong, echoing inside her head.
No! her own voice defied. I will not kill him! Who the hell are you anyway?
Who are we? one of the other voices yelled in outrage.
As if someone had suddenly slapped her, she realized what this all meant. "I'm under the Imperius Curse." Her voice cracked as she whispered her realization.
"What?"
"I'm under the Imperius Curse," she repeated, her voice stronger than time.
The voices in her head began to fade, but they were screaming. She could hear the echoes of their outrage as whispers. Her own voice began to shout above the others, yelling of its determination.
"I killed them," she confessed. She leaned on to his shoulder as she sobbed, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her. "I'm so sorry."
"Hermione, it's okay," he comforted her. He stroked her back and began rocking her back and forth again.
"No, it's not okay. I killed them. Oh God, I killed Ron." Her sobs did nothing to distort her confession. She knew that he understand her, but for some reason, he didn't release her from his embrace.
"It's okay. Calm down, Hermione. Calm down."
She focused on her breathing, trying to collect herself. A few moments later, she moved out of his arms and looked at him with tears in her eyes. He looked at her with a questioning stare, but a deep affection was present. "Talk to me," he requested, holding eye contact.
She took a final deep breath before she answered him. "I was under the Imperius Curse. I killed Fred. Then George. Then Ron. I'm so sorry, Charlie. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop myself." She broke into hysterics again and he wrapped his arms around her again.
"Hermione, you were under the Imperius Curse, and you had no control."
"Three people… voices… in my head. They commanded me, and I didn't fight them. Oh God, Charlie, I didn't fight them."
"Hermione, if you were under three separate Imperius Curses, it's no wonder you couldn't resist their demands. That's powerful magic. No one could fight three." His words were calm and they rang true.
"But… they are dead."
"And you can't fix that, Hermione. What are they telling you to now?" His brown eyes were searching as he looked at her.
"Nothing. They shut up."
He smiled at her, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Hermione, do you know what that means?" She shook her head. "That means you did fight them. Hermione, you must have overpowered them."
She froze. Focusing on a spot above his shoulder, she tried to hear the voices. Silence answered her inquiry. "They are gone," she whispered, relief evident in her voice.
He tightened his arms around her, and lifted her up. He carried her to the house without saying a word. Suddenly she felt exhausted and she leaned against his hard chest to try to relax. Her heart beat against her chest, and her breathing was heavy as she closed her eyes. He shifted her weight in order to open the front door. He kicked the door close behind himself.
"Charlie—" Mrs. Weasley's voice questioned in a voice that shook with sorrow and confusion.
"Later, Mum. I'll explain it later. Let me go put her to bed. She's exhausted." He didn't pause in his stride as he answered his mother. She felt him start to ascend the staircase.
Finally, he set her gently down on a bed. She cracked open her eyes and saw that she was in her bedroom that she shared with Ginny. He closed the door quietly, and looked back at her. He didn't go to her at first, just watched her. "Hermione…"
Tears stung at her eyes again. The pain that was radiating from him broke her heart farther. "I'm sorry," she whispered breaking into sobs again.
He walked briskly to her and sat down beside her on the bed. Deftly, he pulled her onto his lap and held her. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault," he tried to reassure her. He rocked his body back and forth, taking her with him. She didn't understand why the motion was so comforting, but it was. She felt her body began to relax against him, but the sobs didn't recede.
She tilted her face up to look up at his. An overwhelming desire to kiss him again began to take hold. "Charlie…"
As if he was reading her mind, he lowered his mouth onto hers. The kiss was slow at first; both were desperate for comfort. Her sobs stopped almost immediately when he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He ran one of his hands down her back and the other hand went to stroke the side of her face.
After a long moment, he pulled back and stared in her eyes. An undeniable look of love and desire made his brown eyes look darker than normal. "Hermione…" She could feel the heat of his breath fanning her face. She pulled his face down to hers once again, and kissed him deeply. She pressed her body against his in a silent invitation.
The only voice in her head spoke up again. You love Charlie. Let him love you.
She pressed her body against his and he began to lie down on his back, bringing her on top of him. His legs were still bent over the side of the bed and she balanced herself on putting out her hands. His arousal was obvious against her belly even with their robes between them. She dropped her hands from the side of his face and began to push up his robes.
He chuckled into her mouth and moved his hands to her waist. In one swift movement he lifted her off him and onto her back, where he covered her body with his. She smiled up at him during the moment before his mouth returned to claim hers.
She felt frantic as the passion and desire kept building within her. Her hands roamed and skimmed over his body just for the feel of something solid. His mouth slanted over hers again and again, coaxing moans out of her.
He pulled away from her, leaving her slightly disappointed for the moment by the absence of his heat and weight against her. "Evanesco," he whispered the spell. Her clothes vanished in the next instant, making her feel vulnerable and exposed. He lowered his mouth to hers again, and kissed her passionately, his tongue sweeping in her mouth. Her inhibitions vanished and she closed her eyes to relish the taste of him and the feel of his robed body pressing against her bare skin.
Breaking the kiss, he kissed a path down her neck to the valley between her breasts. He began to suck, lick, and kiss one of her hardened nipples. She felt a consuming pleasure and desire while his mouth was on her hot skin.
"I'm naked, but you're not," she gasped as he continued his assault on her sensitive nipple. "That just won't do." Before he could stop her, she grabbed his own wand. "Evanesco." The spell was extremely simple, and even with someone else's wand, she could perform it easily. His clothes vanished leaving their naked bodies pressed against each other in an erotic way.
His arousal rested against her stomach still. Without their robes to interfere, the intensity grew inside her body. His brown eyes were dark with desire, passion, and need as she moved against him, trying to drive him to the brink of no return. He moved off her and sat up, staring down at her.
"What?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable all the sudden under his scrutinizing gaze. She moved to try to cover herself a bit, but he stopped her.
"You're beautiful," he whispered in a voice heavy with lust.
She smiled up at him, her confidence increasing ever so slightly with the compliment. He stood up and without asking her to, she followed him. Standing before her, he looked exquisite. His body was littered with freckles and scars, but he couldn't have looked more beautiful to her. His body was made of a hard muscle and his skin was slightly weather-beaten from his long days exposed to the sun. His erection was straining to her, ready for her, telling her of his desire for her.
She wasn't a virgin, but suddenly she felt as if this was her first time. This was her first time with him. She took a timid step towards him, and he took two brisk steps to her. She lunged at him, kissing him wildly and trying to touch any of him that she could reach. He allowed her to press him back against the wall. She reached between their bodies and touched him. He jerked, surprised by her bold action.
She looked him in the eye as she began to stroke the length of his erection. He moaned, leaning his head against the wall as her hand movement stirred pleasure within him. Feeling brazen from his reaction, she knelt down in front of him. Looking at his face for a tiny moment, she licked the tip of his penis. He moaned again. She smiled and replaced her hands with her mouth. She took him in her mouth as far as she could, knowing the pleasure she had to be inflicting on him.
After a few moments, he lifted her to her feet roughly. "What?" she asked innocently. He didn't answer her, but pulled her to him. His mouth ascended on hers once again and his tongue darted in her mouth. She was concentrating on his mouth so much that she didn't notice one of his hands leaving her back. His finger parted the junction between her thighs, surprising her.
His finger immediately found her sensitive bundle of nerves and began circular strokes. "Oh God," she moaned as the feelings consumed her. He took her moan into his mouth as he continued to kiss her while is finger moved inside her.
She swirled into her climax as the pleasure overpowered all her sense. Waves of pleasure crashed into her.
She barely had time to recover from her orgasm when he removed his finger and shifted their bodies, both slick with sweat. He pressed her against the wall and slowly began to slide inside her. She wrapped her legs around his back and pressed herself further against the wall, using it to support part of her weight.
He swiftly finished his entrance, filling her to her hilt. She moaned at the filling of completeness the union created within her. She squeezed her legs, trying to make him move. At first his thrusts were slow and controlled. "Faster," she demanded. He didn't need to be told twice.
His thrusts' pace began to increase and the sensations the friction and touch of him inside her created began to build to its peak once again. She leaned her head back against the wall with her eyes closed just enjoying the feelings coursing through her body.
He groaned and stopped. She opened her eyes, wondering if he was about to have his own release. As if answering the question in her eyes, he began to move again, in a frantic pace. She leaned forward briefly to whisper, "Come for me," in his ear.
He didn't listen right away. Instead he moved one of his hands from its place supporting her behind to resume stroking her responsive nub inside her. She had no idea how she continued to balance between the wall and his hot body, but she did. Her irresistible pleasure began to build to an excruciating point when she felt herself giving into the feelings that consumed her.
He followed her orgasm with his own climax. He came inside her. She dropped her legs to support herself as she leaned against the wall and he dropped his head onto her shoulder. "Damn," she heard him mutter. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his back and pressed his sweaty body to hers.
After a moment his rapid breathing slowed down. He didn't say a word when he wrapped swung her up in his arms. She moved her arms to his neck as he carried her to the bed. He put her down on the bed then slid in beside her, pulling her against him. Their bodies pressed together as he pulled the blanket over them to cover their nudity.
"Hermione," he whispered into the silence. "I just want you to know—"
"Charlie, I love you," she cut him off. She couldn't help but let the confession flow out of her lips without stopping them. Despite herself, she found that she didn't care if the feelings were reciprocated or not.
He kissed her hair. "I love you, too." Though the sentiment might have been thought to be in a sisterly way before, she had no trouble understanding it wasn't now.
Tears welled in her eyes suddenly as the thoughts of his family flittered through her mind. Ron, Fred, George… Oh God. The lone voice in her head seemed to be as hysterical as her tears. She closed her eyes tightly as her body shook with her cries.
"Hermione, love, don't cry," he whispered into her hair, tightening his hold on her.
"I'm a murderer, Charlie. You can't tell me you love a murderer," she said desperately. "Someone who killed your brothers."
"I love you, and you are not a murderer." His voice was strong, supportive.
"No," she denied, "I am a murderer. I said the spells to kill them. To kill my best friend." Her sobs grew stronger at the thought and she buried her face in his shoulder to muffle the sound of her cries.
He stroked down her back as his face rested in her hair. "Hermione, you were under the Imperius Curse. You aren't responsible."
She pulled away from him and looked in his face, her eyes searching and desperate. "How can you believe that so easily?"
He reached up and stroked the side of her face. "It's simple. I know you. I know you're no murderer. I love you, Hermione." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
She buried her face back into his shoulder.
"Sleep, love. In the morning we will sort all this out," he requested, his voice calm and soothing.
Veritaserum, the voice in her head reminded her.
She didn't even bother to pretend to want to sleep; instead she threw the covers off their bodies. Jumping to her feet, she searched her wardrobe for a pair of Muggle sweats and t-shirt. She didn't bother with undergarments. She found another pair of sweats and t-shirt and pulled out her wand. She whispered, "Engorgio," and the clothes grew big enough to fit the man laying in the bed and watching her. She threw them at him. "Please get dressed. I have an idea."
With a questioning look, he got out of the bed and got dressed. He followed her downstairs into the kitchen where Mrs. and Mr. Weasley were sitting at the table. Mrs. Weasley was crying, and didn't look up when they entered. Mr. Weasley looked up and saw the pair walk in. He was confused, but he waited for her to speak first before questioning.
"I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley," she began. Mrs. Weasley looked up. "I just wanted to know if you have any Veritserum handy."
Mr. Weasley nodded. He looked beyond her and nodded. She heard Charlie move. He walked by her and opened a nearby cabinet. After he had produced a vial, he handed it to her. "There."
She smiled. "Thank you." She felt strange after what they had done now that they were under his parents' knowing eyes, and looked away quickly. She opened the vial and poured its contents down her throat without anyone prompting her.
The potion took effect almost instantly.
"I killed Ron, George, and Fred," she confessed.
"Hermione you don't have to—" Charlie started.
"No, Charlie," Mr. Weasley said, "Let her finish."
"But, Dad—" his son began to interject.
"No, Charlie. Please let me finish," she begged genuinely. Mrs. Weasley watched her with what seemed to be unseeing eyes.
"Fine," he muttered begrudgingly.
"I killed them, but if I could take it back I would!" The truth fell out of her mouth in rapid secession. "I kept hearing these… voices in my head. They weren't my voice though! They were hateful, angry, and God, so strong. I couldn't overpower them. They made me kill them. I wasn't strong enough to resist." She broke down then. Charlie walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "God I don't deserve you," she whispered.
She didn't know if it was the fact her statement was true in his opinion or if it was because he knew that she believed it, but she felt him stiffen.
The scene of the couple must not have affected Mr. and Mrs. Weasley because Mr. Weasley spoke up. "Are you saying you were under the Imperius Curse from three people?"
She nodded against Charlie's chest. "Yes. It's the only way. I swear to you, Mr. Weasley, I never would have done it if I had had control."
"Oh Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley suddenly exclaimed. She heard the scraping of a chair against the floor then Mrs. Weasley's arms wrapped around her as well. "We know you would never hurt the boys. Oh we don't blame you! No matter what happened, we don't blame you!"
"The Imperius Curse is a strong curse, Hermione, and three… that's unthinkable. Are you free of them now?" Mr. Weasley inquired his voice cautious.
She nodded. "Yes. The voices are gone. I can't hear them and they aren't making me do anything anymore. I swear."
"Do you know who they were?"
She shook her head. "No. They were sadistic monsters, though."
Mrs. Weasley moved away from her. "Hermione, we love you. We know you didn't do anything on purpose and to come down here… to take Veritserum to prove this to us… It was unnecessary since even it the clues led to you we know that you'd never kill them under your own accord, but thank you. Thank you for allowing us to know the truth." She leaned over and kissed the girl's temple.
She looked up at the man holding her with watery eyes. "God, I'm sorry."
"I love you," he whispered, uncaring in what way his parents took his words.
"I love you, too," she whispered. The truth of the statement echoed in the room's silence, and the voice in her head spoke up. It's the truth. You love him.
Pairing: Charlie/Hermione
Word Count: circa 5100
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: smut, dark themes, character deaths
Summary: Three down; five to go, she thought in a tone that was unnatural...
Author's Note: Written for
idea_of_sarcasm and hp_springsmut. Thank you so much to my wonderful beta, jandjsalmon.Three down; five to go, she thought in a tone that was unnatural.
After watching the familiar body fall to the ground, lifeless and heavy, she turned to walk down the hall. She used all the grace she processed to be silent. The door was ajar when she reached her destination and she pushed it open slowly.
Her target was stretched out on his bed. His arms were beneath his head and his eyes closed. He looked totally relaxed and utterly unsuspecting. He didn't notice her entrance until she forced a sob to escape her mouth. He jumped at the sound and turned to look at her in surprise.
His face was full of concern when he saw the tears running down her face and her body shaking with mostly silent sobs. "Hermione," he whispered as he stood up. He walked to her and without saying a word; he enveloped her in the warmth and protection of his embrace. He was familiar and felt safe so she wrapped her arms around him.
Do it now, a voice in her head commanded her.
What? No! another voice argued.
Now! Kill him! came a third voice.
Murder the Muggle-lover, a forth angry voice demanded from inside her head.
No, denied the second voice again, but in a much weaker voice that could barely be heard.
The second voice sounded like herself, like her thoughts always sound, but the other three voices were unknown to her. They were angry and forceful, quieting her own personal voice.
She pulled out of the embrace and stumbled backwards. Her body was now shaking with real sobs as she fought the urge to raise her wand. "No!" she tried to yell her defiance, but instead it came out as almost inaudible whisper.
He watched her in confusion.
Kill him now! a hateful voice screamed inside her head.
The desire to kill the man in front of her was almost overwhelming. Knowing she couldn't overpower it completely or for very long, she ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She stopped just outside the door and leaned against an adjacent wall. She was breathing heavily through her exertion to not listen to the voices in her head; her body shook with genuine sobs. She slid down the wall and sat on the floor. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her head on her arms as she tried to calm down.
The door opened beside her, but she refused to look up. She didn't want the temptation for the voices to start screaming again. She felt him wrap his arms around her to comfort her, and she didn't move away. In truth, his warm and comforting embrace was welcome. He rested his face against her hair and she felt him gently kiss the top of her head. She didn't move.
A blood-curdling scream broke through the silence of the moment, forcing her to look up. The three angry voices in her head suddenly erupted in sadistic laughter.
"What the hell?" the man holding her blurted out. He released her from his hug and stood up to go find out what had caused such a scream.
She followed him as a reflex. She had a nasty feeling in her gut that she knew what had caused the scream. He led her to Ron's room where Mrs. Weasley was sobbing hysterically. The older woman's body was wracked with sobs as she sat on the bed. Her eyes were staring unblinkingly at something on the floor.
She followed her glaze instinctively. Ron's body was lying lifeless and unmoving on the floor. He was unmistakably dead. There was nothing wrong with his body though, and the only thing that could cause that was the Killing Curse.
Nausea suddenly washed over her as she stared at her friend's body. He's dead, she thought. Even the voice in her head sounded like it was grieving.
Three down; five to go! one of the other three voices rejoiced inside her head. It was clear that the voice was happy about Ron's death.
He didn't even see it coming! another of the hateful voices boasted.
Her nausea increased as she realized that she had just left this room. She had been in here moments before… Flashes of a series of events ran through her mind. Ron smiling, and then his smile falling from his face. Angry accusations flew.
"I don't love you! I never did!" screamed her own voice.
"Hermione, you can't mean that. We…" Ron's voice was pained as he looked at her with a broken look in his face.
"You're immature, and I don't love you! I'm sorry I lead you on, but it's over," her voice yelled. It was full of anger and hurt.
Ron turned away from her. When his back was to her, she noticed that her wand flew up and words fell out of her mouth that she didn't remember forming. Avada Kedavra, she whispered in a voice full of hate. She watched as Ron's lifeless body fell to the ground.
Her body shook as she remembered what she had done. Her actions had been involuntary, as if someone else was controlling her.
Oh good, she finally remembers, a voice inside her head said in assumed tone.
It took her long enough. I thought she was supposed to be "gifted!" another voice joined in the mocking.
Oh, God, her own voice whispered inside her head, I killed Ron.
And that's not the only one! the first voice informed her in a joyful tone.
Images flashed in her mind's eye of George and Fred Weasley's bodies collapsing with no sign of injury. I killed them too? her voice questioned the other three.
They laughed, filling her head with echoing laughter. Yes, you killed them too. And you're not done. We aren't done with you yet.
The voice was threatening her. She felt scared – not just of the disembodied voices in her head – but of herself and what she was capable of. She was a murderer.
The man she had been with moments before spoke. "Hermione, are you okay?"
She hadn't realized it, but she was staring at her friend's body in a dazed expression as she recalled her acts. "What? No, I'm not okay."
The man took a step closer to her, and she took a few rapid steps back to put more distance between their bodies. With a fleeting look at the body, she ran out of the room. She didn't stop running until she had reached the front door. She pulled it open and let it slam shut behind her with the force of her pull. She ran out into the yard, and collapsed on the ground when she felt she was a safe distance from the house.
I always knew it took a special kind of person to murder, one of the voices said in a mocking thoughtful voice.
She just doesn't have what it takes to do what she has to, another voice added.
That's why we're here, the final voice said in a self-righteous tone.
No. I won't be a murderer, her own voice spoke up. It was much quieter than the others, full of despite and hopelessness.
Honey, I hate to tell you, but you already are, the second hateful voice told in her a voice that was meant to be comforting, but instead of condescending.
She allowed herself to get into the fetal position and wrapped her arms around herself to try to control her shaking. The voices in her head argued with each other as they tried to decide their next step. Her own voice was silent now, drowned out by the hate and anger the others radiated.
"Hermione," a soft male voice whispered from behind her. She felt someone place their hand on her back and she jerked away as if he had burnt her. "Hermione, please."
She shook her head. She didn't trust herself to look at him or her words to form correctly.
He was kneeling beside her. Without her permission he wrapped her in his arms. His touch was comforting, and she didn't have the strength to move away. "Hermione, I know."
The words echoed in her head and she felt vomit rising in her throat.
He knows nothing! one of the voices screamed in her head.
The other two merely laughed.
"Hermione, I know it hurts," he embellished. "I hurt too. I just wanted…" His voice choked briefly, preventing him from finishing his sentence. He cleared his throat. "I just wanted you to know that we found Fred and George's bodies, too. In the attic."
Her body shook harder with her sobs after he confirmed her fears. He rocked her back and forth in a soothing motion, trying to calm her down as he whispered words of comfort to her. She didn't have the strength to move out of his arms in the onslaught of emotions that consumed her.
"It's okay," he whispered. His lips pressed against her hair.
"No," she finally whispered. Her voice sounded foreign to her ears.
"No what?" he questioned, his voice calm and soft. She was amazed he could control himself to this extent after just finding out his brother's had been murdered.
"No, it's not okay."
He didn't respond as he continued to rock her.
No one will ever suspect you. Just keep quiet, and you'll be fine! a voice yelled inside her head.
Make him think he's helping. God, that will be amusing! another voice told her.
The third voice laughed. Pitiful and weak people like you make me sick.
"Hermione…" his voice trailed off.
She pulled away finally, feeling too weak to resist the urge to face him. The voices egged her on as she turned to look at him. He looked at her with brown eyes full of sadness, concern, and unshed tears. He leaned forward and his lips fluttered over hers in a brief moment of feather-like contact. She didn't back away from his advance, and he took that as permission to repeat his kiss.
This time the kiss was no longer merely a touch of lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Her tongue delved in his mouth to taste him as he tasted her. Their tongues danced as the voices in her head encouraged her and laughed. He kept one arm wrapped around her back and the other reached upward and tangled itself in her hair.
After a few moments of passionate kissing, she pulled away. She was breathless and her heart was pounding against her chest. He rubbed her back as he looked down at her. His eyes that had been full of concern before was accompanied by affection. Real affection.
Kill him now! one of the twisted voices in her head demanded.
"No," she whispered in a strong voice. For the first time since the voices invaded her mind, she felt strong enough to resist.
"I'm sorry," he said, dropping his arms. He thought she was telling him no.
"Oh, Merlin, Charlie, not you," she tried to reassure him. Her voice was weak again, but it was still audible and steady.
He looked at her, confused and caring. She managed a weak smile, and he returned the smile though it didn't reach his eyes. Reaching up, she caressed the side of his face thoughtfully. Her feelings for him had been growing since the war had started; she knew every scar from the dragons. She knew what he loved, what he hated, what he thought. On the outside it seemed as though she was in love with Ron, and she did love Ron, but not that in that way. He was her best friend, but nothing more. The man sitting beside her had become more.
Kill him! one of the voice commanded. It was angry and strong, echoing inside her head.
No! her own voice defied. I will not kill him! Who the hell are you anyway?
Who are we? one of the other voices yelled in outrage.
As if someone had suddenly slapped her, she realized what this all meant. "I'm under the Imperius Curse." Her voice cracked as she whispered her realization.
"What?"
"I'm under the Imperius Curse," she repeated, her voice stronger than time.
The voices in her head began to fade, but they were screaming. She could hear the echoes of their outrage as whispers. Her own voice began to shout above the others, yelling of its determination.
"I killed them," she confessed. She leaned on to his shoulder as she sobbed, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her. "I'm so sorry."
"Hermione, it's okay," he comforted her. He stroked her back and began rocking her back and forth again.
"No, it's not okay. I killed them. Oh God, I killed Ron." Her sobs did nothing to distort her confession. She knew that he understand her, but for some reason, he didn't release her from his embrace.
"It's okay. Calm down, Hermione. Calm down."
She focused on her breathing, trying to collect herself. A few moments later, she moved out of his arms and looked at him with tears in her eyes. He looked at her with a questioning stare, but a deep affection was present. "Talk to me," he requested, holding eye contact.
She took a final deep breath before she answered him. "I was under the Imperius Curse. I killed Fred. Then George. Then Ron. I'm so sorry, Charlie. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop myself." She broke into hysterics again and he wrapped his arms around her again.
"Hermione, you were under the Imperius Curse, and you had no control."
"Three people… voices… in my head. They commanded me, and I didn't fight them. Oh God, Charlie, I didn't fight them."
"Hermione, if you were under three separate Imperius Curses, it's no wonder you couldn't resist their demands. That's powerful magic. No one could fight three." His words were calm and they rang true.
"But… they are dead."
"And you can't fix that, Hermione. What are they telling you to now?" His brown eyes were searching as he looked at her.
"Nothing. They shut up."
He smiled at her, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Hermione, do you know what that means?" She shook her head. "That means you did fight them. Hermione, you must have overpowered them."
She froze. Focusing on a spot above his shoulder, she tried to hear the voices. Silence answered her inquiry. "They are gone," she whispered, relief evident in her voice.
He tightened his arms around her, and lifted her up. He carried her to the house without saying a word. Suddenly she felt exhausted and she leaned against his hard chest to try to relax. Her heart beat against her chest, and her breathing was heavy as she closed her eyes. He shifted her weight in order to open the front door. He kicked the door close behind himself.
"Charlie—" Mrs. Weasley's voice questioned in a voice that shook with sorrow and confusion.
"Later, Mum. I'll explain it later. Let me go put her to bed. She's exhausted." He didn't pause in his stride as he answered his mother. She felt him start to ascend the staircase.
Finally, he set her gently down on a bed. She cracked open her eyes and saw that she was in her bedroom that she shared with Ginny. He closed the door quietly, and looked back at her. He didn't go to her at first, just watched her. "Hermione…"
Tears stung at her eyes again. The pain that was radiating from him broke her heart farther. "I'm sorry," she whispered breaking into sobs again.
He walked briskly to her and sat down beside her on the bed. Deftly, he pulled her onto his lap and held her. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault," he tried to reassure her. He rocked his body back and forth, taking her with him. She didn't understand why the motion was so comforting, but it was. She felt her body began to relax against him, but the sobs didn't recede.
She tilted her face up to look up at his. An overwhelming desire to kiss him again began to take hold. "Charlie…"
As if he was reading her mind, he lowered his mouth onto hers. The kiss was slow at first; both were desperate for comfort. Her sobs stopped almost immediately when he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He ran one of his hands down her back and the other hand went to stroke the side of her face.
After a long moment, he pulled back and stared in her eyes. An undeniable look of love and desire made his brown eyes look darker than normal. "Hermione…" She could feel the heat of his breath fanning her face. She pulled his face down to hers once again, and kissed him deeply. She pressed her body against his in a silent invitation.
The only voice in her head spoke up again. You love Charlie. Let him love you.
She pressed her body against his and he began to lie down on his back, bringing her on top of him. His legs were still bent over the side of the bed and she balanced herself on putting out her hands. His arousal was obvious against her belly even with their robes between them. She dropped her hands from the side of his face and began to push up his robes.
He chuckled into her mouth and moved his hands to her waist. In one swift movement he lifted her off him and onto her back, where he covered her body with his. She smiled up at him during the moment before his mouth returned to claim hers.
She felt frantic as the passion and desire kept building within her. Her hands roamed and skimmed over his body just for the feel of something solid. His mouth slanted over hers again and again, coaxing moans out of her.
He pulled away from her, leaving her slightly disappointed for the moment by the absence of his heat and weight against her. "Evanesco," he whispered the spell. Her clothes vanished in the next instant, making her feel vulnerable and exposed. He lowered his mouth to hers again, and kissed her passionately, his tongue sweeping in her mouth. Her inhibitions vanished and she closed her eyes to relish the taste of him and the feel of his robed body pressing against her bare skin.
Breaking the kiss, he kissed a path down her neck to the valley between her breasts. He began to suck, lick, and kiss one of her hardened nipples. She felt a consuming pleasure and desire while his mouth was on her hot skin.
"I'm naked, but you're not," she gasped as he continued his assault on her sensitive nipple. "That just won't do." Before he could stop her, she grabbed his own wand. "Evanesco." The spell was extremely simple, and even with someone else's wand, she could perform it easily. His clothes vanished leaving their naked bodies pressed against each other in an erotic way.
His arousal rested against her stomach still. Without their robes to interfere, the intensity grew inside her body. His brown eyes were dark with desire, passion, and need as she moved against him, trying to drive him to the brink of no return. He moved off her and sat up, staring down at her.
"What?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable all the sudden under his scrutinizing gaze. She moved to try to cover herself a bit, but he stopped her.
"You're beautiful," he whispered in a voice heavy with lust.
She smiled up at him, her confidence increasing ever so slightly with the compliment. He stood up and without asking her to, she followed him. Standing before her, he looked exquisite. His body was littered with freckles and scars, but he couldn't have looked more beautiful to her. His body was made of a hard muscle and his skin was slightly weather-beaten from his long days exposed to the sun. His erection was straining to her, ready for her, telling her of his desire for her.
She wasn't a virgin, but suddenly she felt as if this was her first time. This was her first time with him. She took a timid step towards him, and he took two brisk steps to her. She lunged at him, kissing him wildly and trying to touch any of him that she could reach. He allowed her to press him back against the wall. She reached between their bodies and touched him. He jerked, surprised by her bold action.
She looked him in the eye as she began to stroke the length of his erection. He moaned, leaning his head against the wall as her hand movement stirred pleasure within him. Feeling brazen from his reaction, she knelt down in front of him. Looking at his face for a tiny moment, she licked the tip of his penis. He moaned again. She smiled and replaced her hands with her mouth. She took him in her mouth as far as she could, knowing the pleasure she had to be inflicting on him.
After a few moments, he lifted her to her feet roughly. "What?" she asked innocently. He didn't answer her, but pulled her to him. His mouth ascended on hers once again and his tongue darted in her mouth. She was concentrating on his mouth so much that she didn't notice one of his hands leaving her back. His finger parted the junction between her thighs, surprising her.
His finger immediately found her sensitive bundle of nerves and began circular strokes. "Oh God," she moaned as the feelings consumed her. He took her moan into his mouth as he continued to kiss her while is finger moved inside her.
She swirled into her climax as the pleasure overpowered all her sense. Waves of pleasure crashed into her.
She barely had time to recover from her orgasm when he removed his finger and shifted their bodies, both slick with sweat. He pressed her against the wall and slowly began to slide inside her. She wrapped her legs around his back and pressed herself further against the wall, using it to support part of her weight.
He swiftly finished his entrance, filling her to her hilt. She moaned at the filling of completeness the union created within her. She squeezed her legs, trying to make him move. At first his thrusts were slow and controlled. "Faster," she demanded. He didn't need to be told twice.
His thrusts' pace began to increase and the sensations the friction and touch of him inside her created began to build to its peak once again. She leaned her head back against the wall with her eyes closed just enjoying the feelings coursing through her body.
He groaned and stopped. She opened her eyes, wondering if he was about to have his own release. As if answering the question in her eyes, he began to move again, in a frantic pace. She leaned forward briefly to whisper, "Come for me," in his ear.
He didn't listen right away. Instead he moved one of his hands from its place supporting her behind to resume stroking her responsive nub inside her. She had no idea how she continued to balance between the wall and his hot body, but she did. Her irresistible pleasure began to build to an excruciating point when she felt herself giving into the feelings that consumed her.
He followed her orgasm with his own climax. He came inside her. She dropped her legs to support herself as she leaned against the wall and he dropped his head onto her shoulder. "Damn," she heard him mutter. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his back and pressed his sweaty body to hers.
After a moment his rapid breathing slowed down. He didn't say a word when he wrapped swung her up in his arms. She moved her arms to his neck as he carried her to the bed. He put her down on the bed then slid in beside her, pulling her against him. Their bodies pressed together as he pulled the blanket over them to cover their nudity.
"Hermione," he whispered into the silence. "I just want you to know—"
"Charlie, I love you," she cut him off. She couldn't help but let the confession flow out of her lips without stopping them. Despite herself, she found that she didn't care if the feelings were reciprocated or not.
He kissed her hair. "I love you, too." Though the sentiment might have been thought to be in a sisterly way before, she had no trouble understanding it wasn't now.
Tears welled in her eyes suddenly as the thoughts of his family flittered through her mind. Ron, Fred, George… Oh God. The lone voice in her head seemed to be as hysterical as her tears. She closed her eyes tightly as her body shook with her cries.
"Hermione, love, don't cry," he whispered into her hair, tightening his hold on her.
"I'm a murderer, Charlie. You can't tell me you love a murderer," she said desperately. "Someone who killed your brothers."
"I love you, and you are not a murderer." His voice was strong, supportive.
"No," she denied, "I am a murderer. I said the spells to kill them. To kill my best friend." Her sobs grew stronger at the thought and she buried her face in his shoulder to muffle the sound of her cries.
He stroked down her back as his face rested in her hair. "Hermione, you were under the Imperius Curse. You aren't responsible."
She pulled away from him and looked in his face, her eyes searching and desperate. "How can you believe that so easily?"
He reached up and stroked the side of her face. "It's simple. I know you. I know you're no murderer. I love you, Hermione." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
She buried her face back into his shoulder.
"Sleep, love. In the morning we will sort all this out," he requested, his voice calm and soothing.
Veritaserum, the voice in her head reminded her.
She didn't even bother to pretend to want to sleep; instead she threw the covers off their bodies. Jumping to her feet, she searched her wardrobe for a pair of Muggle sweats and t-shirt. She didn't bother with undergarments. She found another pair of sweats and t-shirt and pulled out her wand. She whispered, "Engorgio," and the clothes grew big enough to fit the man laying in the bed and watching her. She threw them at him. "Please get dressed. I have an idea."
With a questioning look, he got out of the bed and got dressed. He followed her downstairs into the kitchen where Mrs. and Mr. Weasley were sitting at the table. Mrs. Weasley was crying, and didn't look up when they entered. Mr. Weasley looked up and saw the pair walk in. He was confused, but he waited for her to speak first before questioning.
"I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley," she began. Mrs. Weasley looked up. "I just wanted to know if you have any Veritserum handy."
Mr. Weasley nodded. He looked beyond her and nodded. She heard Charlie move. He walked by her and opened a nearby cabinet. After he had produced a vial, he handed it to her. "There."
She smiled. "Thank you." She felt strange after what they had done now that they were under his parents' knowing eyes, and looked away quickly. She opened the vial and poured its contents down her throat without anyone prompting her.
The potion took effect almost instantly.
"I killed Ron, George, and Fred," she confessed.
"Hermione you don't have to—" Charlie started.
"No, Charlie," Mr. Weasley said, "Let her finish."
"But, Dad—" his son began to interject.
"No, Charlie. Please let me finish," she begged genuinely. Mrs. Weasley watched her with what seemed to be unseeing eyes.
"Fine," he muttered begrudgingly.
"I killed them, but if I could take it back I would!" The truth fell out of her mouth in rapid secession. "I kept hearing these… voices in my head. They weren't my voice though! They were hateful, angry, and God, so strong. I couldn't overpower them. They made me kill them. I wasn't strong enough to resist." She broke down then. Charlie walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "God I don't deserve you," she whispered.
She didn't know if it was the fact her statement was true in his opinion or if it was because he knew that she believed it, but she felt him stiffen.
The scene of the couple must not have affected Mr. and Mrs. Weasley because Mr. Weasley spoke up. "Are you saying you were under the Imperius Curse from three people?"
She nodded against Charlie's chest. "Yes. It's the only way. I swear to you, Mr. Weasley, I never would have done it if I had had control."
"Oh Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley suddenly exclaimed. She heard the scraping of a chair against the floor then Mrs. Weasley's arms wrapped around her as well. "We know you would never hurt the boys. Oh we don't blame you! No matter what happened, we don't blame you!"
"The Imperius Curse is a strong curse, Hermione, and three… that's unthinkable. Are you free of them now?" Mr. Weasley inquired his voice cautious.
She nodded. "Yes. The voices are gone. I can't hear them and they aren't making me do anything anymore. I swear."
"Do you know who they were?"
She shook her head. "No. They were sadistic monsters, though."
Mrs. Weasley moved away from her. "Hermione, we love you. We know you didn't do anything on purpose and to come down here… to take Veritserum to prove this to us… It was unnecessary since even it the clues led to you we know that you'd never kill them under your own accord, but thank you. Thank you for allowing us to know the truth." She leaned over and kissed the girl's temple.
She looked up at the man holding her with watery eyes. "God, I'm sorry."
"I love you," he whispered, uncaring in what way his parents took his words.
"I love you, too," she whispered. The truth of the statement echoed in the room's silence, and the voice in her head spoke up. It's the truth. You love him.
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Date: 2007-04-06 03:11 am (UTC)