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amorphousTitle: Searching for the Change; chapter 1 Bar Scene
Words: 2100-ish (this chapter)
Rating: PG (this chapter)
Characers/Pairings: Snape/Tonks
Warnings: just drinking
Author's Notes: A thousand thank yous to the best beta in the world,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jandjsalmon.
Summary: (this chapter) Snape finds Tonks drunk in a bar.
Severus couldn't believe his eyes. She was drinking at a bar, and she was alone. The bar wasn't the Three Broomsticks or even the Leaky Cauldron to ensure her safety.
It was a bar located on the outskirts of Muggle London. A place she shouldn't know about let alone visit. The woman that could go from bubblegum pink hair to a mousey brown back to bubblegum pink hair was sitting there with an off black brown hair color. It seemed obvious to Severus, despite his only slight and limited interaction with the witch, that she was heartbroken.
His eyes swept the floor of the bar, looking for who could be her companion. He saw no one familiar.
He watched from ten feet away as she downed a shot of a golden liquid which could be almost anything. The bartender didn't hesitate to ask if she wanted another shot, she merely nodded as her eyes refused to focus on the man addressing her.
"You look like hell." Severus allowed the words to fall out his month instead of stopping them as he could have. She didn't turn as if she didn't hear him. "You look like hell, Nymphadora," he repeated adding her name for good measure.
Slowly, as if it took strength, Tonks turned to look in the direction of her name with a bemused look on her face. Her dark brown eyes looked unfocused and watery over her frowning mouth. Despite her drunken state there was no denying she was still an attractive young woman.
"Where's your werewolf?" He had meant it to be an insult and the fact she stiffened and glared in response told her it was a success.
"He's not mine," she retorted. Her words seemed to contradict her reaction. It seemed she was simply resentful at the reference of him as hers, rather than the reference of his state as a werewolf. She purposely turned away from him and looked back down at her shot glass with as much focus as her condition allowed her to.
Severus slid his long frame into the chair beside her and watched her. She didn't acknowledge him again for several long minutes; he was silent as he observed her. He decided that he wouldn't invade her mind without reason. Legilimency should only be used in extreme cases. Her shot glass sat in front of her and she stared at it like she was trying to break it with only her mind. Resisting the urge to suggest she use her wand to shatter it, he ordered himself a glass of water.
"Water only?" Tonks' voice cut through the silence and he turned to look at her. She was looking at him with an expression that was caught between confusion and amusement.
A slow smile crept across his face before he said, "I'm not looking to get drunk."
She snorted. Her drunken state had obviously lessened her inhibitions and claimed some of her manners. She kept the eye contact that had happened inadvertently as she downed the shot that was in front of her in one swallow. "I am."
Severus continued to smile – finding the woman both amusing and pathetic. "Where is he?"
Tonks rolled her eyes. "I don't know, and I don't care."
"So you two broke up, I see." Severus had to work to keep both his delight out of his voice and his tone to remain even.
She scowled. "We were never together in the first place." It was obvious that she was still bitter over that fact.
"I see, I see."
"What do you see?"
Instead of answering her, he ordered another glass of water and pushed the empty shot glass toward the bartender. "Water for her, too."
"You don't get to order my drinks!" Tonks seemed outraged by his simple tactic of ordering her a water to try to sober her up a bit.
He shrugged, undeterred by her argument. He reached in the pocket of his robes for the powder he had brought with him so he could get drunk and still be sober when he left. It was a harmless potion to sober someone up; actually it was less harmful then the alcohol consumed before it was taken. He added the powder to one of the glasses of water and then nudged it towards the intoxicated woman.
She eyed the cup with distain. "No thank you."
"You know," he said deliberately, "I'm surprised you're allowing a werewolf to make you act so foolishly."
"Excuse me?" Her expression went from weary and disgusted to enrage in a blink of an eye. "He has nothing to do with this."
"Doesn't he?" Severus tried to act innocent, though he was finding it fun to bait her.
"No!" Her face was flushing red from her drunken state as well as the anger she felt.
"Then why did you come here to get drunk if not to cover up some sort of pain?" He reached over and gentle picked up a small lock of her hair. "It seems to be you wouldn't choose this color."
Tonks pulled her head away sharply and the hair fell from his hand. "And why not? Perhaps I like the color!"
He chuckled darkly. "I doubt that. I really do doubt that."
"Maybe you're wrong," she shot back. But there was a different and distinctive look in her eyes, as if she had realized he was right. With reluctance, she took the glass of water and took a small sip. She made a face as the bland taste of the water washed over her taste buds. "That's disgusting."
"That's water," Severus pointed out, amused by her reaction.
Tonks drank the entire glass of water before saying another word. Her eyes immediately cleared and her drunkenness seemed to fade right before his eyes as the powder took effect. She looked around herself as if she was seeing the bar for the first time. Her eyes settled on Severus after she took in her surroundings. "What are you doing here?"
Severus wanted to laugh. Tonks was not a very observant person while drunk. She was looking at him with a confused expression. "I was sobering you up," he told her.
"Excuse me?" Her puzzled face quickly turned annoyed.
"So what happened between you and your werewolf?"
She glared at him uncharacteristically. "He's not my werewolf," she repeated.
"Sorry," he said unapologetically, "I forgot. He's only a werewolf, right?"
"I suppose he is." Tonks was still eyeing him with annoyance, but also caution. She seemed to not trust the fact he was actually striking up a conversation with her. He found her reaction interesting. She didn't trust him, yet she didn't move away or stop talking.
His eyes flickered up to her black-brown hair. "He broke your heart?"
She snorted. "No." She grabbed the glass of water and took a sip, as if avoiding having to lengthen her answer.
"Then why is your hair that… color?" He said the last word disdainfully. With his limited interaction with her during his stay and visits to the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters, she had always been a bubbly, optimist most of the time with bubblegum pink hair. She hadn't shunned him, or Draco when he came to the Order for refuge either, and Severus had always had a soft spot for her. He didn't acknowledge it during the war, but now, after the war, he seemed able to admit it.
Her optimistic personality had been a refreshing difference from the depressed and desolate moods that everyone else was in. Severus found her spirit annoying during a lot of the wartime, but after the war was different.
She had attempted to start a relationship the werewolf, Remus Lupin, during the war, but her efforts seemed to have been for naught.
"There is nothing wrong with this hair color," she said defensively. She shoved some of her hair behind her ear and glared at him. This Tonks was hardly recognizable to him.
"No Auror duties tonight?" He changed the subject quickly, hoping to unarm her newly guarded personality.
She looked surprised for a moment, but recovered quickly. "I'm off duty tonight, not that it's any of your business."
He shrugged. "So you come to a bar to drink?"
Tonks glared at him again. "What do you care?"
"I don't. I was being observant."
"Don't." Tonks glared at him, no friendly familiarity in her eyes.
"People shouldn't drink alone," Severus said his voice calm.
"Maybe if they have no one to drink with, they should," Tonks retorted. Quickly, as if realizing she had said too much, she took another drink, letting the glass hover behind her lips to have an excuse not to talk.
"If certain people didn't rely so heavily on werewolves for company then maybe they would have a drinking partner." Severus allowed his bitterness to slide into his tone.
Tonks look up at him as she put the glass down. She wasn't paying attention to the glass setting on the bar so she tried to balance it on the side of its bottom. The glass tip over and spilt the water all over the bar counter top and herself. "Dammit "
Looking around himself quickly to make sure there were no Muggles watching, Severus pulled out his wand and cleaned up the mess in an instant.
"Thank you," Tonks said with a small smile. The smile resembled the woman who he had grown to tolerate during his stay with the Order. It was genuine, happy, real.
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Be more careful."
She didn't even glare at him; she just called to the bartender at the bar for another glass of water.
"No more alcohol?" Severus asked, his eyebrows rising with interest.
She shook her head. "I'm not in the mood to drink anymore."
He smiled a knowing sort of smile. She didn't seem to be the type that drank regularly.
The bartender pushed a glass of water at them and walked away. He seemed a bit miffed that she was no longer drinking something that cost money since water was complimentary.
Severus took a drink of his own glass of water and watched Tonks in silence. She was back to brooding. It was not like her, but for some reason it created a bit more of a multidimensional persona for her. Despite her lively personality, she intrigued him, drew him in with what seemed to be a complex persona.
"So why isn't the werewolf here?" he tried again.
"You're really hung up on Remus aren't you? Are you sure you didn't want to be the one with him?"
He smiled despite what her questions implied. "I'm positive. I wondered why you wanted to be with him in the first place."
She smiled softly, as if remembering back to their short-lived and malformed relationship. "He was smart, kind, and gentle."
"He was? I wonder why I never saw those qualities in him. I saw a half-breed, a werewolf, someone cursed."
Her smile twisted into a sardonic glower. "Oh really? I don't see how you have any room to talk seeing that you are a murderer and all."
His face fell with her words. "It's true. I am a murderer, but you seem to forget most people, after the war, are too. I'm sure you had to take a life or two during the war."
She looked at him thoughtfully. "It's true. But—"
"There's nothing more to say. We are all murderers; I don't see me committing murder in the name of war is any worse than you committing murder in the name of war."
She sighed, relenting. "You're right."
"I know I am." He looked at her through narrowed eyes, trying to decide what she was thinking.
"What are you doing here?"
Her question startled him. "What?"
"What are you doing here—" She lowered her voice, "—in a Muggle bar no less?"
"The same thing you are: to drink."
She looked down at his water glass. "Then why aren't you drinking?"
He shrugged.
She smiled at him suddenly. "Oh, because of me. You saw me and I changed your plans."
"You think you could ever change my plans?" he scoffed. He shook his head, feeling slightly embarrassed that it was true.
"Apparently, I can." She grinned.
Severus shrugged and pushed his glass away as if in some finality. Standing up, he said, "Goodbye, Tonks."
His back was already turned when she spoke up, "Thanks, Severus. I hope to see you again soon – really."
He didn't turn when he answered her. "I doubt it."
"I don't!" she said cheerfully from behind him.
He shook his head as he continued to leave the bar.
Words: 2100-ish (this chapter)
Rating: PG (this chapter)
Characers/Pairings: Snape/Tonks
Warnings: just drinking
Author's Notes: A thousand thank yous to the best beta in the world,
jandjsalmon.Summary: (this chapter) Snape finds Tonks drunk in a bar.
Severus couldn't believe his eyes. She was drinking at a bar, and she was alone. The bar wasn't the Three Broomsticks or even the Leaky Cauldron to ensure her safety.
It was a bar located on the outskirts of Muggle London. A place she shouldn't know about let alone visit. The woman that could go from bubblegum pink hair to a mousey brown back to bubblegum pink hair was sitting there with an off black brown hair color. It seemed obvious to Severus, despite his only slight and limited interaction with the witch, that she was heartbroken.
His eyes swept the floor of the bar, looking for who could be her companion. He saw no one familiar.
He watched from ten feet away as she downed a shot of a golden liquid which could be almost anything. The bartender didn't hesitate to ask if she wanted another shot, she merely nodded as her eyes refused to focus on the man addressing her.
"You look like hell." Severus allowed the words to fall out his month instead of stopping them as he could have. She didn't turn as if she didn't hear him. "You look like hell, Nymphadora," he repeated adding her name for good measure.
Slowly, as if it took strength, Tonks turned to look in the direction of her name with a bemused look on her face. Her dark brown eyes looked unfocused and watery over her frowning mouth. Despite her drunken state there was no denying she was still an attractive young woman.
"Where's your werewolf?" He had meant it to be an insult and the fact she stiffened and glared in response told her it was a success.
"He's not mine," she retorted. Her words seemed to contradict her reaction. It seemed she was simply resentful at the reference of him as hers, rather than the reference of his state as a werewolf. She purposely turned away from him and looked back down at her shot glass with as much focus as her condition allowed her to.
Severus slid his long frame into the chair beside her and watched her. She didn't acknowledge him again for several long minutes; he was silent as he observed her. He decided that he wouldn't invade her mind without reason. Legilimency should only be used in extreme cases. Her shot glass sat in front of her and she stared at it like she was trying to break it with only her mind. Resisting the urge to suggest she use her wand to shatter it, he ordered himself a glass of water.
"Water only?" Tonks' voice cut through the silence and he turned to look at her. She was looking at him with an expression that was caught between confusion and amusement.
A slow smile crept across his face before he said, "I'm not looking to get drunk."
She snorted. Her drunken state had obviously lessened her inhibitions and claimed some of her manners. She kept the eye contact that had happened inadvertently as she downed the shot that was in front of her in one swallow. "I am."
Severus continued to smile – finding the woman both amusing and pathetic. "Where is he?"
Tonks rolled her eyes. "I don't know, and I don't care."
"So you two broke up, I see." Severus had to work to keep both his delight out of his voice and his tone to remain even.
She scowled. "We were never together in the first place." It was obvious that she was still bitter over that fact.
"I see, I see."
"What do you see?"
Instead of answering her, he ordered another glass of water and pushed the empty shot glass toward the bartender. "Water for her, too."
"You don't get to order my drinks!" Tonks seemed outraged by his simple tactic of ordering her a water to try to sober her up a bit.
He shrugged, undeterred by her argument. He reached in the pocket of his robes for the powder he had brought with him so he could get drunk and still be sober when he left. It was a harmless potion to sober someone up; actually it was less harmful then the alcohol consumed before it was taken. He added the powder to one of the glasses of water and then nudged it towards the intoxicated woman.
She eyed the cup with distain. "No thank you."
"You know," he said deliberately, "I'm surprised you're allowing a werewolf to make you act so foolishly."
"Excuse me?" Her expression went from weary and disgusted to enrage in a blink of an eye. "He has nothing to do with this."
"Doesn't he?" Severus tried to act innocent, though he was finding it fun to bait her.
"No!" Her face was flushing red from her drunken state as well as the anger she felt.
"Then why did you come here to get drunk if not to cover up some sort of pain?" He reached over and gentle picked up a small lock of her hair. "It seems to be you wouldn't choose this color."
Tonks pulled her head away sharply and the hair fell from his hand. "And why not? Perhaps I like the color!"
He chuckled darkly. "I doubt that. I really do doubt that."
"Maybe you're wrong," she shot back. But there was a different and distinctive look in her eyes, as if she had realized he was right. With reluctance, she took the glass of water and took a small sip. She made a face as the bland taste of the water washed over her taste buds. "That's disgusting."
"That's water," Severus pointed out, amused by her reaction.
Tonks drank the entire glass of water before saying another word. Her eyes immediately cleared and her drunkenness seemed to fade right before his eyes as the powder took effect. She looked around herself as if she was seeing the bar for the first time. Her eyes settled on Severus after she took in her surroundings. "What are you doing here?"
Severus wanted to laugh. Tonks was not a very observant person while drunk. She was looking at him with a confused expression. "I was sobering you up," he told her.
"Excuse me?" Her puzzled face quickly turned annoyed.
"So what happened between you and your werewolf?"
She glared at him uncharacteristically. "He's not my werewolf," she repeated.
"Sorry," he said unapologetically, "I forgot. He's only a werewolf, right?"
"I suppose he is." Tonks was still eyeing him with annoyance, but also caution. She seemed to not trust the fact he was actually striking up a conversation with her. He found her reaction interesting. She didn't trust him, yet she didn't move away or stop talking.
His eyes flickered up to her black-brown hair. "He broke your heart?"
She snorted. "No." She grabbed the glass of water and took a sip, as if avoiding having to lengthen her answer.
"Then why is your hair that… color?" He said the last word disdainfully. With his limited interaction with her during his stay and visits to the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters, she had always been a bubbly, optimist most of the time with bubblegum pink hair. She hadn't shunned him, or Draco when he came to the Order for refuge either, and Severus had always had a soft spot for her. He didn't acknowledge it during the war, but now, after the war, he seemed able to admit it.
Her optimistic personality had been a refreshing difference from the depressed and desolate moods that everyone else was in. Severus found her spirit annoying during a lot of the wartime, but after the war was different.
She had attempted to start a relationship the werewolf, Remus Lupin, during the war, but her efforts seemed to have been for naught.
"There is nothing wrong with this hair color," she said defensively. She shoved some of her hair behind her ear and glared at him. This Tonks was hardly recognizable to him.
"No Auror duties tonight?" He changed the subject quickly, hoping to unarm her newly guarded personality.
She looked surprised for a moment, but recovered quickly. "I'm off duty tonight, not that it's any of your business."
He shrugged. "So you come to a bar to drink?"
Tonks glared at him again. "What do you care?"
"I don't. I was being observant."
"Don't." Tonks glared at him, no friendly familiarity in her eyes.
"People shouldn't drink alone," Severus said his voice calm.
"Maybe if they have no one to drink with, they should," Tonks retorted. Quickly, as if realizing she had said too much, she took another drink, letting the glass hover behind her lips to have an excuse not to talk.
"If certain people didn't rely so heavily on werewolves for company then maybe they would have a drinking partner." Severus allowed his bitterness to slide into his tone.
Tonks look up at him as she put the glass down. She wasn't paying attention to the glass setting on the bar so she tried to balance it on the side of its bottom. The glass tip over and spilt the water all over the bar counter top and herself. "Dammit "
Looking around himself quickly to make sure there were no Muggles watching, Severus pulled out his wand and cleaned up the mess in an instant.
"Thank you," Tonks said with a small smile. The smile resembled the woman who he had grown to tolerate during his stay with the Order. It was genuine, happy, real.
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Be more careful."
She didn't even glare at him; she just called to the bartender at the bar for another glass of water.
"No more alcohol?" Severus asked, his eyebrows rising with interest.
She shook her head. "I'm not in the mood to drink anymore."
He smiled a knowing sort of smile. She didn't seem to be the type that drank regularly.
The bartender pushed a glass of water at them and walked away. He seemed a bit miffed that she was no longer drinking something that cost money since water was complimentary.
Severus took a drink of his own glass of water and watched Tonks in silence. She was back to brooding. It was not like her, but for some reason it created a bit more of a multidimensional persona for her. Despite her lively personality, she intrigued him, drew him in with what seemed to be a complex persona.
"So why isn't the werewolf here?" he tried again.
"You're really hung up on Remus aren't you? Are you sure you didn't want to be the one with him?"
He smiled despite what her questions implied. "I'm positive. I wondered why you wanted to be with him in the first place."
She smiled softly, as if remembering back to their short-lived and malformed relationship. "He was smart, kind, and gentle."
"He was? I wonder why I never saw those qualities in him. I saw a half-breed, a werewolf, someone cursed."
Her smile twisted into a sardonic glower. "Oh really? I don't see how you have any room to talk seeing that you are a murderer and all."
His face fell with her words. "It's true. I am a murderer, but you seem to forget most people, after the war, are too. I'm sure you had to take a life or two during the war."
She looked at him thoughtfully. "It's true. But—"
"There's nothing more to say. We are all murderers; I don't see me committing murder in the name of war is any worse than you committing murder in the name of war."
She sighed, relenting. "You're right."
"I know I am." He looked at her through narrowed eyes, trying to decide what she was thinking.
"What are you doing here?"
Her question startled him. "What?"
"What are you doing here—" She lowered her voice, "—in a Muggle bar no less?"
"The same thing you are: to drink."
She looked down at his water glass. "Then why aren't you drinking?"
He shrugged.
She smiled at him suddenly. "Oh, because of me. You saw me and I changed your plans."
"You think you could ever change my plans?" he scoffed. He shook his head, feeling slightly embarrassed that it was true.
"Apparently, I can." She grinned.
Severus shrugged and pushed his glass away as if in some finality. Standing up, he said, "Goodbye, Tonks."
His back was already turned when she spoke up, "Thanks, Severus. I hope to see you again soon – really."
He didn't turn when he answered her. "I doubt it."
"I don't!" she said cheerfully from behind him.
He shook his head as he continued to leave the bar.
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