1 letter: Gaia to Ed
Mar. 26th, 2009 08:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amorphousTitle: Letter from Gaia to Ed #2
Alternative Title: The Skateboarder and You
Words: circa 300
Rating: PG for language
Characters/Pairings: Gaia/Ed
Warnings: spoilers for series
Author's Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
10_letters.
Dear Ed,
I saw someone skateboarding today. It reminded me of you. Sometimes I feel like my father, everything - no matter how little or big - reminding me of you. I'm quiet here. As quiet was I was before you, but I miss you. I miss not being able to hide anything from you - from crazy uncles, to my own psychotic insecurities. You saw right through it all. You almost saw through my ice queen act the morning you almost got shot. You would have if I would have stuck around.
But today, the boy skateboarding made me smile. It amused me to imagine you in Central Park on your skateboard with some girl who is not me - and would never have been me - watching you, cheering for your tricks. You'd show off to impress her. I could see it. I could almost feel it, because I want to be that girl. No, I wanted to be that girl. I can't be that girl anymore now than I could before. You tried so hard and each time I shot you down - harder than the time before. And now, I'm thousands of miles away from you and I'm amused just to think of you. I'm going nuts here, Ed, and that's saying something.
Sometimes I still wait for the phone call… your phone call, so we could talk about nothing in particular and argue over you making noise with the milkshake. Other times I relish in the silence. Most times I just miss you. I just fucking miss you.
I guess that's what the skateboarder reminded me… He reminded me that I fucking miss you.
I wish I was there, but I really don't. You're safer there without me, but that doesn't stop me from missing you. God, why do I fucking miss you so much?
Love,
Gaia
Alternative Title: The Skateboarder and You
Words: circa 300
Rating: PG for language
Characters/Pairings: Gaia/Ed
Warnings: spoilers for series
Author's Note: Written for
10_letters.Dear Ed,
I saw someone skateboarding today. It reminded me of you. Sometimes I feel like my father, everything - no matter how little or big - reminding me of you. I'm quiet here. As quiet was I was before you, but I miss you. I miss not being able to hide anything from you - from crazy uncles, to my own psychotic insecurities. You saw right through it all. You almost saw through my ice queen act the morning you almost got shot. You would have if I would have stuck around.
But today, the boy skateboarding made me smile. It amused me to imagine you in Central Park on your skateboard with some girl who is not me - and would never have been me - watching you, cheering for your tricks. You'd show off to impress her. I could see it. I could almost feel it, because I want to be that girl. No, I wanted to be that girl. I can't be that girl anymore now than I could before. You tried so hard and each time I shot you down - harder than the time before. And now, I'm thousands of miles away from you and I'm amused just to think of you. I'm going nuts here, Ed, and that's saying something.
Sometimes I still wait for the phone call… your phone call, so we could talk about nothing in particular and argue over you making noise with the milkshake. Other times I relish in the silence. Most times I just miss you. I just fucking miss you.
I guess that's what the skateboarder reminded me… He reminded me that I fucking miss you.
I wish I was there, but I really don't. You're safer there without me, but that doesn't stop me from missing you. God, why do I fucking miss you so much?
Love,
Gaia
