1 original: fragment III
Aug. 26th, 2008 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amorphousTitle: Fragments III
Rating: PG (for the topic of death and the questionable religious/spiritual nature)
Author's Notes: Another "fragment".
The crowd gathered donned black clothes; a single color that said so much. It was the color of grieving, of pain, of sadness, of death. The monotone room matched the mood that filled the air, making the girl who seemed to stand apart from the rest of the crowd queasy. Pulling her shoulders back, she stepped through the crowd toward the front of the room where people where avoiding. Their eyes lingered at the large wooden casket that sat there alone. People seemed to shy away from it after the initial time they went up to pay their respects, but the girl approached with her head held high.
There were no tears in her eyes. The girl seemed unfeeling to the spectators, but she wasn't. She felt every step vibrate to through her bones as she got closer to that box… that wooden box that held what she missed the most. Even her dark green eyes burned with unshed tears as the emotions rolled around inside. She didn't know how to express herself at the moment. Her body was humming with undefined feelings; she was too much of a mess to know what she was really feeling.
The crowd watched her. Their gawking stares didn't seem to penetrate through to her now. Her body had a mind of its own the closer she got to the wooden box. It was such a simple looking object to be creating such a scene. Their eyes didn't waver as she laid one hand on the closed lid, thankful that she didn't have to face what was inside. It was bad enough looking at the smooth wood and knowing.
"Are you okay?" she whispered in a voice that was barely audible to even herself. No one heard her words, and she knew if they had they wouldn't say anything. They couldn't understand what she was asking, what she was doing. She stroked the flat, hard surface and felt the tears start to spill. They slid down her face, making her feel broken and beaten. All the fake strength that she had seemed to process as she approached seemed to fade the moment she was actually there. She was too close.
"You never believed in Heaven or Hell. You believed in nothing," she sobbed softly. "Are you just rotting in there? Embalmed and empty? Are you…" Her voice broke completely, leaving her question unfinished. She didn't try to continue, knowing that she would never have an answer anyway.
Someone put their arm around the girl's shoulder. "Honey…"
She shrugged the arm off. "Leave me alone. Please. Leave me alone!" Her voice was a whisper, and she wasn't even sure if the person could hear her. She was beyond being comforted like this.
The arm didn't return. It stayed away and she felt the other person's presence slowly drift away, leaving her alone with herself and her own emotions that flooded her body and came out as sobs. She wouldn't have been able to help herself if she could. Blurting out the first thing that came to her mind, she sobbed, "Are you nothing now? Is the only thing that’s left of you my memories?"
The silence that followed was her answer. If he believed in nothing, then surely he was rotting away now, no matter how much it hurt her to believe.
Rating: PG (for the topic of death and the questionable religious/spiritual nature)
Author's Notes: Another "fragment".
The crowd gathered donned black clothes; a single color that said so much. It was the color of grieving, of pain, of sadness, of death. The monotone room matched the mood that filled the air, making the girl who seemed to stand apart from the rest of the crowd queasy. Pulling her shoulders back, she stepped through the crowd toward the front of the room where people where avoiding. Their eyes lingered at the large wooden casket that sat there alone. People seemed to shy away from it after the initial time they went up to pay their respects, but the girl approached with her head held high.
There were no tears in her eyes. The girl seemed unfeeling to the spectators, but she wasn't. She felt every step vibrate to through her bones as she got closer to that box… that wooden box that held what she missed the most. Even her dark green eyes burned with unshed tears as the emotions rolled around inside. She didn't know how to express herself at the moment. Her body was humming with undefined feelings; she was too much of a mess to know what she was really feeling.
The crowd watched her. Their gawking stares didn't seem to penetrate through to her now. Her body had a mind of its own the closer she got to the wooden box. It was such a simple looking object to be creating such a scene. Their eyes didn't waver as she laid one hand on the closed lid, thankful that she didn't have to face what was inside. It was bad enough looking at the smooth wood and knowing.
"Are you okay?" she whispered in a voice that was barely audible to even herself. No one heard her words, and she knew if they had they wouldn't say anything. They couldn't understand what she was asking, what she was doing. She stroked the flat, hard surface and felt the tears start to spill. They slid down her face, making her feel broken and beaten. All the fake strength that she had seemed to process as she approached seemed to fade the moment she was actually there. She was too close.
"You never believed in Heaven or Hell. You believed in nothing," she sobbed softly. "Are you just rotting in there? Embalmed and empty? Are you…" Her voice broke completely, leaving her question unfinished. She didn't try to continue, knowing that she would never have an answer anyway.
Someone put their arm around the girl's shoulder. "Honey…"
She shrugged the arm off. "Leave me alone. Please. Leave me alone!" Her voice was a whisper, and she wasn't even sure if the person could hear her. She was beyond being comforted like this.
The arm didn't return. It stayed away and she felt the other person's presence slowly drift away, leaving her alone with herself and her own emotions that flooded her body and came out as sobs. She wouldn't have been able to help herself if she could. Blurting out the first thing that came to her mind, she sobbed, "Are you nothing now? Is the only thing that’s left of you my memories?"
The silence that followed was her answer. If he believed in nothing, then surely he was rotting away now, no matter how much it hurt her to believe.
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Date: 2008-08-27 08:54 pm (UTC)Sorry, I rambled. :)