1 Chaptered: Lost Without Each Other
Feb. 5th, 2008 07:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amorphousTitle: Lost Without Each Other (Chapter 6)
Co-Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jandjsalmon
Words: circa 5000 the chapter
Rating: ultimately NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Theodore Nott/Tracey Davis
Warnings: character death, swearing, sex/smut, not exactly HBP compliant.
Author's Notes: I'm honored to be able to write our Theo/Tracey with my awesome friend, Jess.
Summary: Theodore Nott and Tracey Davis are happily in love. They plan to spend forever together until after several unforeseeable circumstances they are pulled apart. Eight years later, something they witnessed on one of their last dates comes back to haunt them both and push them together in ways neither is prepared for.
Summary for chapter: The party is never dull when Tracey and Theo are there... especially together...
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Tracey's fingers flitted over the ice sculpture. The evening had just started and she was already bored to tears. The Ashcroft Hotel ballroom was near capacity and it was making the room hot. She had made it through most of the evening without seeing Theo. She was beginning to believe that he wasn't really there. That maybe the information she'd read about him being the Head of Development had been incorrect. She tried not to look like she was wandering, but it was difficult with Blaise watching her as she walked around the room. She'd insisted that she hadn't needed an escort but he'd come anyway. Most likely to sit and make sure she'd behave. Like he had anything to worry about. She was nothing if not a boring and dutiful daughter.
Shannon clutched Theo's arm, practically laying on him as they walked into the party. The first thing Theo noticed was that it was crowded and he felt instantly warm in the close quarters. Shannon leaned down and whispered sweetly, "Quite a turn out, isn't it, dear?" He just nodded silently, wishing he had opted out of bringing a date since it hadn't been mandatory, just preferred. Shannon had been quite insistent on the topic of marriage since the moment he had picked her up from her flat that evening. She kept mentioning it on purpose, announcing that she wanted a light pink color scheme to the wedding while wearing a long white gown. "This would be a lovely place for a proposal," Shannon whispered in his ear, not surprising him a bit. He had been expecting it in fact.
Pulling himself away from her, he said, "I'm going to get something to drink. Would you like some wine?" He tried stop his voice from conveying his annoyance.
Sighing she pouted and nodded, obviously noticing the annoyance or at least some bit of displeasure in his voice. Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, he slipped away, leaving her to wander the ballroom by herself and hoping to himself she found another guy to strike her fancy. During their ride here when she had went on and on in unsubtle ways of bringing up a wedding, he had decided it was time to break up with her. Shannon was a good woman. She truly was nice, caring, and so forth, but since she wasn't her -- the woman constantly on his mind and had been for eight years -- and he couldn't make her that woman. She deserved a respectful breakup, and he'd give it to her after tonight. He refused to breakup with her publicly because she didn't deserve that in the least. If he couldn't get over her in two years of dating a wonderful woman like Shannon, he probably never would, and she deserved to know the truth and have a chance to find a man who can give her what she wants: a marriage and family. He'd never be to that point especially not with Shannon Reynolds.
Getting two glasses of red wine, he wandered back toward where he had left his date, passing familiar faces as he went. Many people nodded and greeted him and he reciprocated the pleasantries as curtly as courtesy would allow him. When he glanced away from a businessmen he suddenly saw her standing by the ice sculpture and quickly turned the other way, walking in the opposite direction. His heart had twisted at the sight of her -- she was as beautiful as ever or perhaps more beautiful than she had been eight years before -- and he had to fight the urge to go over to her. She was the one that was always on his mind, and speaking to her would only make things worse for him.
Tracey turned and smiled as her father introduced her to yet another wizard. He was the third one and quite possibly the oldest one so far. She smiled politely and listened to him drone on about something or other that she certainly didn't care about. It had been like this all night. At least the next bloke was a little younger - if mid-forties could be considered younger. "Tracey dear, this is Miles Beck. He's the Director of the St. Martin's - the company about to sign with us to do our Charm work."
Tracey smiled. She knew all about this already. Her father had no idea how much knowledge she'd retained aboutwhere Theo worked St. Martin's. "How do you do, sir? I understand that the contracts with BowmanDavis are about to be finalized. That's good for us then, yes?"
"I surely hope so, Miss Davis." His smile was pleasant and she felt much better about speaking to him, but probably a large part of that had to do with the fact that she knew he was happily married. She had thought that this would be the end of their conversation when Mr. Beck reached out unexpectedly and grabbed the arm of a passing man. "Nott, my boy, have you met Malcolm Davis yet?"
Tracey's eyes widened. There he was, staring back at her. She couldn't hide the shocked look on her face, but she quickly schooled it. She was fairly sure he'd known her well enough once to see through it, but now she wasn't so sure. It had been a long time.
Theo was expressionless as he nodded to the older man. "I do not believe we were ever formally introduced," he said evenly, his face an expressionless mask that would have even gave Tracey's schooled feature a run for her money. He avoided looked at Tracey. She was so close, yet he couldn't bring himself to even acknowledge her. It was too hard to be casual with her and he wasn't about to test himself. Extending his hand to the older man, he said, "Mr. Davis, nice to meet you. Theodore Nott. I suppose I'll be helping with the contract between BowmanDavis and St. Martin's. I look forward to consulting with you and your people through out the entire process." He shook the man's hand, noting that his handshake and gaze was cold with a bit of confusion on his part. Could he remember I dated Tracey in school? It was eight long years ago, and I doubt a man of his position would have time to dwell on or even pay attention to her daughter's romances.
Malcolm nodded. He knew exactly who this young man was. He was the reason his daughter had grown cold toward him. His sweet girl, who he loved more than anything. She'd given up and broken apart because of this boy. Still, he knew that Theodore Nott had become quite proficient with charms. He needed him, as much as he was loathe to admit it, so he shook his hand firmly and managed a brief assent before moving to get he and Tracey away from Beck and his protege.
Beck held them back though. "And Miss Davis. You must meet Miss Davis. She is learning the business of broom production. Seems she'll take over the business someday, am I right, Miss Davis? Tracey Davis, this is Theodore Nott."
Tracey blanched. She hadn't expected to have to speak to him. He wasn't going to say anything to her anyway. It was clear that he loathed her. "Theo- uh, Mr. Nott." She nodded to him politely. "It's nice to see you here." How trite. She sounded like a complete moron. How was it that he had once been the one person who made her feel complete and loved and smart, but now all she felt was mortification.
Theo took her hand gently, kissing it. Like a gentleman. Like he barely knew her. The action, the thought, made his heart twist with pain. She was the one person that he knew almost as well as himself, but he couldn't show it. He could read her face like a book. She was embarrassed, and he couldn't even relish in the thought. Part of him just wanted to make her feel more comfortable. If their companies were working together then they'd need to be comfortable around each other, and anyway, it'd been eight years. Time to move on, he thought to himself rather bitterly. Looking into her familiar green eyes, he smiled softly. Maybe I'm being rash with Shannon. She'd make a good wife. Life would never be boring with her there... And Tracey certainly isn't waiting for me... "It's nice to see you, too, Miss Davis. I hope you're well and enjoying yourself tonight," he added a bit coldly as he dropped her hand as quickly as he could without being outwardly rude, knowing full well Tracey would hate being at a party like this.
He'd dropped her hand like she'd burned him. She clenched her fist and nodded at him, knowing full well that she deserved every ounce of coldness she received. It was at that moment that Blaise decided to approach them. He didn't look happy and he came beside them with his arm immediately moved to her back. She stiffened and moved just enough that his hand wasn't touching her. "Don't do that," she muttered so only those closest to them could hear. Unfortunately, Theo Nott was one of those people. She looked anywhere but in his direction and pretended to listen carefully to what Mr. Beck was saying to her father.
Theo had heard what Tracey had whispered to Blaise, but remained expressionless. He was surprised he couldn't relish in her displeasure. He wanted her to be happy. Even if her happiness wasn't found with him. She had meant too much to him for him to relish in her unhappiness.
"Theodore!" Shannon's suddenly shrill voice called. She came up from his left, smiling. He handed her the wine he had for her without greeting her. She smiled at him, confused. Her eyes darted to the group of people then back at him. "Theo, aren't you going to introduce me?" she asked sweetly. She could be the picture of innocence when it suited her.
He shrugged but nodded politely. "Of course." Ignoring the men who were in deep conversation and not paying them any heed, he said, "Shannon Reynolds, this is Miss Tracey Davis and Mr. Blaise Zabini. Miss Davis and Mr. Zabini, this is Shannon Reynolds my date."
"And girlfriend," Shannon added with a grin and a voice full of pride. She grabbed his arm and nodded to the others. "It's nice to meet you both."
Tracey's smile tightened and she nodded to the other woman. Irrational jealousy over someone who no longer belonged to her erupted from her chest and she tried to stomp it down with every other feeling she had.
Blaise was not to be silenced though, "Miss Reynolds, how lovely to meet you," he said with a wide smile. He took her hand and kissed it firmly, not letting it go nearly as quickly as he should have. Another dig at Nott. He'd never liked the bastard, and knowing that the woman he loved wanted him instead made his blood boil. "I hope you take Theo here to task for not introducing you properly. Though, I've known him since we were in nappies. I'm not surprised."
Tracey didn't listen to what he was saying. Instead she caught Theo's eye. He was hardly paying attention to Blaise's words meant to jab at him. Their eyes met and another piece of her died. There was nothing there. Nothing but emptiness.
Theo glanced down at Shannon who was sipping her wine and smiling. She had no clue of his history with Tracey and completely oblivious that his silence spoke volumes. He wanted to say something, but everything he wanted to say was inappropriate. He wanted to tell Tracey he missed her and thought of her every day, much to his dismay, and that it killed him that she was unhappy. He could trade all his happiness -- which wasn't much he supposed -- for hers. "Shannon, do you mind?" He pulled his arm away from her and she frowned at him then rolled her eyes.
"Sure, Theo, dear. Sorry about that. And, Mr. Zabini, of course I will, but later. I don't want to embarrass the man in front of... old friends."
"Classmates," Theo said shortly. "They were classmates."
Shannon quirked his eyebrow at his correction of her. He rarely took the time or effort to correct her normally.
"Housemates," Blaise added with a smirk. "In fact, Theo and I were dorm mates too, weren't we Theo?"
"Blaise, just stop," Tracey said finally. "Don't you have somewhere else you ought to be?" she muttered, not even bothering to hide her tone. Please go away, Blaise.
"Yes, Mr. Zabini we were dorm mates. Seems so long ago, but of course, you haven't changed now have you?" Theo said, a pleasant smile hiding the smirk of his sly insult. Zabini's face didn't register the insult either. "Miss Davis was in our house and year as well at Hogwarts," he informed Shannon casually. But she spent plenty of time in our dorm. And with me mostly.
"Is that right?" Shannon said, grinning with interest. "You went to Hogwarts with Theo? I wish I had. My mum shipped me off to a 'foreign' school. She said that Hogwarts was too... uncivilized to get a proper education at. But if Theo came from it, I doubt she was right. But I did get to look French fluently while I was there." She brushed her long blond hair over her shoulder flirtatiously as she looked at Blaise. "Perhaps you have some stories of your school days you weren't mind sharing. He doesn't talk about his school days often. Or at all really..."
Theo wasn't effected by Shannon flirting with Blaise. He was more concerned with the half-angry, half-embarrassed look on Tracey's face. She was uncomfortable and to spare Tracey any more discomfort, Theo interjected. "Come on, Shannon. I have to go find my supervisor Mr. Davids so he knows I made an appearance. Then perhaps I can duck out of the party."
Shannon obediently took his arm again. "It was a pleasure to meet you both. I hope you have a wonderful evening." She smiled at Blaise, winking before Theo could pull her away. He hated how... obedient she was. Shannon didn't have a backbone and Theo knew that was a problem. He needed a woman that could speak for herself, stand up for what she wanted and thought, not just follow him blindly. Not follow anyone blindly.
Tracey nodded at him politely, carefully masking the pain that eight years of not hearing his voice only to have it walk away with him again. Blaise was not so stoic. "Oh, we will have a wonderful evening, Theo. I hope you and the lovely Miss Reynolds to as well." From his lascivious look, it was fairly easy to imagine what kind of lovely time Blaise was thinking of.
Once Theo and his 'date' were gone, Tracey looked at Blaise with a little bit of the loathing she normally reserved for herself and just shook her head at him. He tried to catch her arm, but she just walked away, disgusted with his behaviour and her own.
Theo guided Shannon to the other side of the room as far from Tracey and Blaise as he could. Tilting her head, she asked, "What was that about, Theo?" She was being uncharacteristic perspective.
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, wondering what she picked up on.
"Well, you, Miss Davis and Mr. Zabini could have written a novel on what you weren't saying," she told him, her voice even.
"Is that right?" he asked, looking at her with mild interest and innocence.
"Theo, don't be evasive. I want to know what--"
"It's just things that happened in my school days. It was eight years ago." Reluctantly, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "It has nothing to do with me now." He kissed her forehead, wishing it were true.
She seemed convinced as she wrapped her around around his waist and leaned into him. "I could stay like this forever," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.
He pulled away abruptly, making her gasp. "What?"
"Nothing. Just... nothing," he stammered. For a moment, just a small moment, he had thought it was Tracey's voice saying those words, and when he realized it was Shannon he knew it was time -- that it had been time -- and he couldn't do this any longer. She deserved better than he was giving her and he couldn't give her better. Seeing Tracey again had only solidified that in his mind. He hadn't moved on... at all. Shaking his head, he muttered abruptly, "Shannon we need to talk."
She pouted, looking confused. "About what?"
"Later tonight we'll talk. This isn't the place."
"Fine." She turned around, stomping off. "I thought I saw someone I knew. It would be rude of me to ignore them."
Blaise had watched that little display from across the ballroom and couldn't help but snicker to himself. Deciding to put on a regretful face, he moved to follow Tracey. As much as he knew Nott was a wanker, he hadn't really meant to make Tracey uncomfortable. Blaise had never been able to see what she'd ever seen in him, but surely having him with his girlfriend here had to have hurt her.
He found her on the balcony of the hotel. "Trace?" he said softly as he walked toward her.
"Go away, Blaise." Tracey wiped her eyes and turned her back toward him more fully.
Standing next to her, he tried to put his arm around her but she shrugged it off and took a step away from him.
"Don't." She didn't ask - she told him.
"Tracey, I'm sorry."
"Don't even say it. You did that on purpose. You were horrible. Were you trying to make me look bad? Did you think it would be amusing to come and gallivant around, making people think we are together when we're not and never have been?" Her temper was lighted and while she knew this certainly wasn't the place to unleash it, she didn't stop herself from fixing him with a glare. She kept her scathing remarks low. "And the way you behaved to his girlfriend. His girlfriend! Did you not think about how hard it was for me already to see that he moved on. To try to be happy that the love of my life has moved on and found someone to love when I know I can never have that? And then you flirted with her and antagonized him? What kind of sick bastard are you? Were you trying to get back at me because I refused your offer. That's really rich, Blaise Zabini. Remind me of my own misery because you have a momentary setback to your master plan of finding a ruddy brood mare." It was true, her voice got increasingly louder as she ranted. Hopefully, there weren't many people paying attention to the pair only a few feet from the rest of them.
Theo was standing just outside the door to the balcony, intent on getting some fresh air. Shannon had stomped off somewhere and he found himself relieved. The end would come soon enough. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Tracey's unmistakable and angry voice. She was lashing out Blaise, but it wasn't the anger that caught him. It was the words. "The love of my life" is what she had said. And she had been referring to him. It wasn't something that could be misunderstood. She, the love of his life, still thought of him as the love of hers. Yet, she also was under the misguided view that he was in love with Shannon.
In the eight years apart, he had never loved anyone but her. It was always her. For a reason he never quite understood, he could never truly move on. She was in his heart; she was part of him. He also turned around when he could Blaise reply to her finally.
"Trace, it wasn't like that. It's never been like that. I've loved you since we were kids. He was always the one between us, can't you see that? I know you think you died that day, but you carried on. Look at you, you're here. And we still have a chance to be happy. Let him have his bubble head, who will flirt with any man who charms her. He doesn't deserve your devotion, Trace. Can't you see at least once how it could be with me?"
He sounded more ardent than he ever had. As long as she'd known him he'd never sounded that sincere. It was that that made this all the more hard. She just couldn't. She wouldn't give him what he wanted. Better to be alone than to live a lie. "I can't, Blaise. I can't give you what you want. It isn't mine to give. He's always had it and even now when he doesn't want it, it still belongs to him. As much as I wish I could, I just don't deserve to have a second chance at this. You only get one chance to have someone love you like this. It's a one time deal. I just let mine fall through my fingers." She looked down sadly.
Blaise hardly knew what to say. She'd said no over and over again for years, but he'd always thought it was because she'd kept herself away from Nott, nurturing his memory like she nurtured the flowers in her gardens. He'd hoped that once she saw him, spoke with him again that the illusion would vanish - that she would finally be free to love him back. He wanted to put his mask back up. To pretend this didn't hurt, but it did.
Tracey looked at him and her heart was filled with sorrow. Reaching out to touch his shoulder, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Blaise. I can't- I just have to go. I'm sure Daddy is looking for me." She wiped her final tears, pointed her wand to her face to vanish the streaks that were sure to be there and swiftly walked back into the crowded ballroom.
Blaise cleared his throat, adjusted his tie and tried to school his features before stepping toward the bustling room. A sound on his left made him turn and face the object of his most deepest loathing. The only person he could rightfully admit to himself that he was jealous of. Insanely jealous.
Theo cleared his throat uncomfortably. He had watched Tracey rush by him without saying a word. It was too much to take in. Tracey still loves me was the only thought repeating in his mind over and over. But the look in Blaise's eyes made him feel guilty. He hadn't done anything, but he could empathize with the man. Tracey was a hard -- actually, for Theo, impossible -- woman to get over. Being rejected by her couldn't be easy for him. Despite the fact Theo had a chance and one day, when Shannon was out of the picture, he'd take it, Blaise didn't. "Hello again, Mr. Zabini," he finally said politely.
Blaise glared. "Nott. Enjoy that did you?" His pride was hurt, but not his heart. Never his heart. He tried to tell himself that, but even he knew the thought was a lie. But it would give him comfort when the wizard across from him would only have his bubble-headed mistress -girlfriend- whatever he called her.
"Enjoy that?" Theo repeated, shaking his head. "Of course I didn't. It's a shame she can't see someone standing right in front of her. The idea of her living these past eight years alone... well, I don't exactly find joy in that, Mr. Zabini. In fact, it displeases me personally greatly. She deserves happiness. Even if it's not with you. Or me," he added casually, not backing down from the glare.
Blaise had had enough of hearing, seeing or thinking about Theodore Nott. "Fuck you! You didn't even fight for her. You're a ghost that haunts her now. Telling her she isn't worthy of loving anything or of being loved. I may be just a fool who loves her, but you're the fool she loves... You're a fucking idiot, Nott. Always have been." he said finally, before pushing past the other man, hitting his shoulder as he went.
Theo grabbed his arm, stopping him. "I did fight for her. But I didn't think she wanted to be with me anymore. I wasn't going to force her to be with me. Only a fucking idiot would force themselves on someone," he said scathingly.
Blaise shook his arm free and turned his back on him. All he wanted to do was get out of there. He'd come to watch over Tracey, to hopefully help her move on, but he knew now that he was the one who had some moving on to do.
Tracey watched him leave from beside her father and couldn't say she was sorry to see him go. It hurt, but maybe now he had the smallest inkling of what torture and pain living every day without the other half of your soul was like. She'd had eight years of knowing she'd thrown it away. Now she knew that had Theo come to her even a year after school had finished and told her he still loved her she would have given up everything to be with him. But he hadn't. She didn't, so here she was, standing next to her father who was back to introducing her to everyone she'd need to know when she took over the business.
Theo let him go. He had said all he needed to say, and had even tried to be pleasant. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the edge of the balcony and leaned against the rail. Breathing in the fresh air, he smiled. Somehow the fresh air always made things better; it cleared his head. Tracey still loves me, he thought, still trying to wrap his mind around the idea. Maybe there is a real chance at getting back what we once had. She never said she didn't love me.
He closed his eyes, moving back to the door to go into the ballroom. Right away he noticed Tracey standing dutifully beside her father, looking bored and stiff. Shannon was fluttering behind her, making her way through the crowd. For a moment she looked at Blaise, but a moment later, she turned back to the other guests, a smile on her face. The woman is cold, Theo suddenly noted. Sighing heavily, he walked toward the drinks, getting another glass of wine. All the sudden he wanted and needed alcohol to dull the moment.
Purposely, he didn't catch Tracey's eye. He had to break it off with Shannon completely before he approached Tracey again. She was worth the wait though. She was worth the eight years he had waited for her, and maybe he had always known that.
Tracey's pasted on smile had returned after Blaise left. She was entirely focused on the people she was meeting, storing their names and any additional information her father was feeding her for future needs. She had just finished nodding at whatever Gloria Gwynn, a snitch distributor from Wales was saying, when she turned back briefly to the man her father was speaking to. They were having quite an animated discussion and Tracey, who had been a few feet away, now wandered back to see what was so fascinating. She turned to the man and stopped short. He was tall and thin with dark hair. His face seemed unremarkable until he looked directly at her from behind his wirey glasses. Perhaps if she hadn't seen Theo that night she wouldn't remember that face, but it was all she could to to keep herself from shrieking when she realized who was standing in front of her father.
"Tracey, dear. Come here and meet Aaron Douglas. He's one of my colleagues and you'd do well to meet him." Malcolm motioned to have her join them but her feet weren't letting her move. Almost as though by instinct, she found the eyes of the only man who would understand her horror. Theo must have sensed that she was searching for him because he looked at her immediately and followed her gaze to the dark haired man. There, standing as though he hadn't a care in the world was the man they had both seen murdered that night in Hogsmeade.
Theo had felt a prickle in the back of his neck as if someone was looking at him from behind, following him. Tracey's green eyes were waiting for him when he scanned the ballroom's large crowd in search of the eyes that were fixed on him. She looked terrified. Their eyes held for a small moment before the emerald orbs flickered away and towards a man who was standing in front of her father.
The man was unmistakable. He was the same dark haired, tall wizard who had been in Hogsmeade that night Tracey and he had snuck there. He wore the same wirey glasses that he had almost a decade before over his dark eyes and thin face. Instead of the horrified look on his face that he had had that night, but instead he was an expression of business-like serious interest. Theo felt relieved that he hadn't seem them in the alley watching him "die" or this might be a very different scene.
Theo turned back to Tracey's who was looking at him again; those green eyes that had haunted him for eight years held his for a long moment across the ballroom, not moving toward the man, and unflinching as their history stood right in front of her -- alive and breathing.
Co-Author:
jandjsalmonWords: circa 5000 the chapter
Rating: ultimately NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Theodore Nott/Tracey Davis
Warnings: character death, swearing, sex/smut, not exactly HBP compliant.
Author's Notes: I'm honored to be able to write our Theo/Tracey with my awesome friend, Jess.
Summary: Theodore Nott and Tracey Davis are happily in love. They plan to spend forever together until after several unforeseeable circumstances they are pulled apart. Eight years later, something they witnessed on one of their last dates comes back to haunt them both and push them together in ways neither is prepared for.
Summary for chapter: The party is never dull when Tracey and Theo are there... especially together...
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Tracey's fingers flitted over the ice sculpture. The evening had just started and she was already bored to tears. The Ashcroft Hotel ballroom was near capacity and it was making the room hot. She had made it through most of the evening without seeing Theo. She was beginning to believe that he wasn't really there. That maybe the information she'd read about him being the Head of Development had been incorrect. She tried not to look like she was wandering, but it was difficult with Blaise watching her as she walked around the room. She'd insisted that she hadn't needed an escort but he'd come anyway. Most likely to sit and make sure she'd behave. Like he had anything to worry about. She was nothing if not a boring and dutiful daughter.
Shannon clutched Theo's arm, practically laying on him as they walked into the party. The first thing Theo noticed was that it was crowded and he felt instantly warm in the close quarters. Shannon leaned down and whispered sweetly, "Quite a turn out, isn't it, dear?" He just nodded silently, wishing he had opted out of bringing a date since it hadn't been mandatory, just preferred. Shannon had been quite insistent on the topic of marriage since the moment he had picked her up from her flat that evening. She kept mentioning it on purpose, announcing that she wanted a light pink color scheme to the wedding while wearing a long white gown. "This would be a lovely place for a proposal," Shannon whispered in his ear, not surprising him a bit. He had been expecting it in fact.
Pulling himself away from her, he said, "I'm going to get something to drink. Would you like some wine?" He tried stop his voice from conveying his annoyance.
Sighing she pouted and nodded, obviously noticing the annoyance or at least some bit of displeasure in his voice. Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, he slipped away, leaving her to wander the ballroom by herself and hoping to himself she found another guy to strike her fancy. During their ride here when she had went on and on in unsubtle ways of bringing up a wedding, he had decided it was time to break up with her. Shannon was a good woman. She truly was nice, caring, and so forth, but since she wasn't her -- the woman constantly on his mind and had been for eight years -- and he couldn't make her that woman. She deserved a respectful breakup, and he'd give it to her after tonight. He refused to breakup with her publicly because she didn't deserve that in the least. If he couldn't get over her in two years of dating a wonderful woman like Shannon, he probably never would, and she deserved to know the truth and have a chance to find a man who can give her what she wants: a marriage and family. He'd never be to that point especially not with Shannon Reynolds.
Getting two glasses of red wine, he wandered back toward where he had left his date, passing familiar faces as he went. Many people nodded and greeted him and he reciprocated the pleasantries as curtly as courtesy would allow him. When he glanced away from a businessmen he suddenly saw her standing by the ice sculpture and quickly turned the other way, walking in the opposite direction. His heart had twisted at the sight of her -- she was as beautiful as ever or perhaps more beautiful than she had been eight years before -- and he had to fight the urge to go over to her. She was the one that was always on his mind, and speaking to her would only make things worse for him.
Tracey turned and smiled as her father introduced her to yet another wizard. He was the third one and quite possibly the oldest one so far. She smiled politely and listened to him drone on about something or other that she certainly didn't care about. It had been like this all night. At least the next bloke was a little younger - if mid-forties could be considered younger. "Tracey dear, this is Miles Beck. He's the Director of the St. Martin's - the company about to sign with us to do our Charm work."
Tracey smiled. She knew all about this already. Her father had no idea how much knowledge she'd retained about
"I surely hope so, Miss Davis." His smile was pleasant and she felt much better about speaking to him, but probably a large part of that had to do with the fact that she knew he was happily married. She had thought that this would be the end of their conversation when Mr. Beck reached out unexpectedly and grabbed the arm of a passing man. "Nott, my boy, have you met Malcolm Davis yet?"
Tracey's eyes widened. There he was, staring back at her. She couldn't hide the shocked look on her face, but she quickly schooled it. She was fairly sure he'd known her well enough once to see through it, but now she wasn't so sure. It had been a long time.
Theo was expressionless as he nodded to the older man. "I do not believe we were ever formally introduced," he said evenly, his face an expressionless mask that would have even gave Tracey's schooled feature a run for her money. He avoided looked at Tracey. She was so close, yet he couldn't bring himself to even acknowledge her. It was too hard to be casual with her and he wasn't about to test himself. Extending his hand to the older man, he said, "Mr. Davis, nice to meet you. Theodore Nott. I suppose I'll be helping with the contract between BowmanDavis and St. Martin's. I look forward to consulting with you and your people through out the entire process." He shook the man's hand, noting that his handshake and gaze was cold with a bit of confusion on his part. Could he remember I dated Tracey in school? It was eight long years ago, and I doubt a man of his position would have time to dwell on or even pay attention to her daughter's romances.
Malcolm nodded. He knew exactly who this young man was. He was the reason his daughter had grown cold toward him. His sweet girl, who he loved more than anything. She'd given up and broken apart because of this boy. Still, he knew that Theodore Nott had become quite proficient with charms. He needed him, as much as he was loathe to admit it, so he shook his hand firmly and managed a brief assent before moving to get he and Tracey away from Beck and his protege.
Beck held them back though. "And Miss Davis. You must meet Miss Davis. She is learning the business of broom production. Seems she'll take over the business someday, am I right, Miss Davis? Tracey Davis, this is Theodore Nott."
Tracey blanched. She hadn't expected to have to speak to him. He wasn't going to say anything to her anyway. It was clear that he loathed her. "Theo- uh, Mr. Nott." She nodded to him politely. "It's nice to see you here." How trite. She sounded like a complete moron. How was it that he had once been the one person who made her feel complete and loved and smart, but now all she felt was mortification.
Theo took her hand gently, kissing it. Like a gentleman. Like he barely knew her. The action, the thought, made his heart twist with pain. She was the one person that he knew almost as well as himself, but he couldn't show it. He could read her face like a book. She was embarrassed, and he couldn't even relish in the thought. Part of him just wanted to make her feel more comfortable. If their companies were working together then they'd need to be comfortable around each other, and anyway, it'd been eight years. Time to move on, he thought to himself rather bitterly. Looking into her familiar green eyes, he smiled softly. Maybe I'm being rash with Shannon. She'd make a good wife. Life would never be boring with her there... And Tracey certainly isn't waiting for me... "It's nice to see you, too, Miss Davis. I hope you're well and enjoying yourself tonight," he added a bit coldly as he dropped her hand as quickly as he could without being outwardly rude, knowing full well Tracey would hate being at a party like this.
He'd dropped her hand like she'd burned him. She clenched her fist and nodded at him, knowing full well that she deserved every ounce of coldness she received. It was at that moment that Blaise decided to approach them. He didn't look happy and he came beside them with his arm immediately moved to her back. She stiffened and moved just enough that his hand wasn't touching her. "Don't do that," she muttered so only those closest to them could hear. Unfortunately, Theo Nott was one of those people. She looked anywhere but in his direction and pretended to listen carefully to what Mr. Beck was saying to her father.
Theo had heard what Tracey had whispered to Blaise, but remained expressionless. He was surprised he couldn't relish in her displeasure. He wanted her to be happy. Even if her happiness wasn't found with him. She had meant too much to him for him to relish in her unhappiness.
"Theodore!" Shannon's suddenly shrill voice called. She came up from his left, smiling. He handed her the wine he had for her without greeting her. She smiled at him, confused. Her eyes darted to the group of people then back at him. "Theo, aren't you going to introduce me?" she asked sweetly. She could be the picture of innocence when it suited her.
He shrugged but nodded politely. "Of course." Ignoring the men who were in deep conversation and not paying them any heed, he said, "Shannon Reynolds, this is Miss Tracey Davis and Mr. Blaise Zabini. Miss Davis and Mr. Zabini, this is Shannon Reynolds my date."
"And girlfriend," Shannon added with a grin and a voice full of pride. She grabbed his arm and nodded to the others. "It's nice to meet you both."
Tracey's smile tightened and she nodded to the other woman. Irrational jealousy over someone who no longer belonged to her erupted from her chest and she tried to stomp it down with every other feeling she had.
Blaise was not to be silenced though, "Miss Reynolds, how lovely to meet you," he said with a wide smile. He took her hand and kissed it firmly, not letting it go nearly as quickly as he should have. Another dig at Nott. He'd never liked the bastard, and knowing that the woman he loved wanted him instead made his blood boil. "I hope you take Theo here to task for not introducing you properly. Though, I've known him since we were in nappies. I'm not surprised."
Tracey didn't listen to what he was saying. Instead she caught Theo's eye. He was hardly paying attention to Blaise's words meant to jab at him. Their eyes met and another piece of her died. There was nothing there. Nothing but emptiness.
Theo glanced down at Shannon who was sipping her wine and smiling. She had no clue of his history with Tracey and completely oblivious that his silence spoke volumes. He wanted to say something, but everything he wanted to say was inappropriate. He wanted to tell Tracey he missed her and thought of her every day, much to his dismay, and that it killed him that she was unhappy. He could trade all his happiness -- which wasn't much he supposed -- for hers. "Shannon, do you mind?" He pulled his arm away from her and she frowned at him then rolled her eyes.
"Sure, Theo, dear. Sorry about that. And, Mr. Zabini, of course I will, but later. I don't want to embarrass the man in front of... old friends."
"Classmates," Theo said shortly. "They were classmates."
Shannon quirked his eyebrow at his correction of her. He rarely took the time or effort to correct her normally.
"Housemates," Blaise added with a smirk. "In fact, Theo and I were dorm mates too, weren't we Theo?"
"Blaise, just stop," Tracey said finally. "Don't you have somewhere else you ought to be?" she muttered, not even bothering to hide her tone. Please go away, Blaise.
"Yes, Mr. Zabini we were dorm mates. Seems so long ago, but of course, you haven't changed now have you?" Theo said, a pleasant smile hiding the smirk of his sly insult. Zabini's face didn't register the insult either. "Miss Davis was in our house and year as well at Hogwarts," he informed Shannon casually. But she spent plenty of time in our dorm. And with me mostly.
"Is that right?" Shannon said, grinning with interest. "You went to Hogwarts with Theo? I wish I had. My mum shipped me off to a 'foreign' school. She said that Hogwarts was too... uncivilized to get a proper education at. But if Theo came from it, I doubt she was right. But I did get to look French fluently while I was there." She brushed her long blond hair over her shoulder flirtatiously as she looked at Blaise. "Perhaps you have some stories of your school days you weren't mind sharing. He doesn't talk about his school days often. Or at all really..."
Theo wasn't effected by Shannon flirting with Blaise. He was more concerned with the half-angry, half-embarrassed look on Tracey's face. She was uncomfortable and to spare Tracey any more discomfort, Theo interjected. "Come on, Shannon. I have to go find my supervisor Mr. Davids so he knows I made an appearance. Then perhaps I can duck out of the party."
Shannon obediently took his arm again. "It was a pleasure to meet you both. I hope you have a wonderful evening." She smiled at Blaise, winking before Theo could pull her away. He hated how... obedient she was. Shannon didn't have a backbone and Theo knew that was a problem. He needed a woman that could speak for herself, stand up for what she wanted and thought, not just follow him blindly. Not follow anyone blindly.
Tracey nodded at him politely, carefully masking the pain that eight years of not hearing his voice only to have it walk away with him again. Blaise was not so stoic. "Oh, we will have a wonderful evening, Theo. I hope you and the lovely Miss Reynolds to as well." From his lascivious look, it was fairly easy to imagine what kind of lovely time Blaise was thinking of.
Once Theo and his 'date' were gone, Tracey looked at Blaise with a little bit of the loathing she normally reserved for herself and just shook her head at him. He tried to catch her arm, but she just walked away, disgusted with his behaviour and her own.
Theo guided Shannon to the other side of the room as far from Tracey and Blaise as he could. Tilting her head, she asked, "What was that about, Theo?" She was being uncharacteristic perspective.
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, wondering what she picked up on.
"Well, you, Miss Davis and Mr. Zabini could have written a novel on what you weren't saying," she told him, her voice even.
"Is that right?" he asked, looking at her with mild interest and innocence.
"Theo, don't be evasive. I want to know what--"
"It's just things that happened in my school days. It was eight years ago." Reluctantly, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "It has nothing to do with me now." He kissed her forehead, wishing it were true.
She seemed convinced as she wrapped her around around his waist and leaned into him. "I could stay like this forever," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.
He pulled away abruptly, making her gasp. "What?"
"Nothing. Just... nothing," he stammered. For a moment, just a small moment, he had thought it was Tracey's voice saying those words, and when he realized it was Shannon he knew it was time -- that it had been time -- and he couldn't do this any longer. She deserved better than he was giving her and he couldn't give her better. Seeing Tracey again had only solidified that in his mind. He hadn't moved on... at all. Shaking his head, he muttered abruptly, "Shannon we need to talk."
She pouted, looking confused. "About what?"
"Later tonight we'll talk. This isn't the place."
"Fine." She turned around, stomping off. "I thought I saw someone I knew. It would be rude of me to ignore them."
Blaise had watched that little display from across the ballroom and couldn't help but snicker to himself. Deciding to put on a regretful face, he moved to follow Tracey. As much as he knew Nott was a wanker, he hadn't really meant to make Tracey uncomfortable. Blaise had never been able to see what she'd ever seen in him, but surely having him with his girlfriend here had to have hurt her.
He found her on the balcony of the hotel. "Trace?" he said softly as he walked toward her.
"Go away, Blaise." Tracey wiped her eyes and turned her back toward him more fully.
Standing next to her, he tried to put his arm around her but she shrugged it off and took a step away from him.
"Don't." She didn't ask - she told him.
"Tracey, I'm sorry."
"Don't even say it. You did that on purpose. You were horrible. Were you trying to make me look bad? Did you think it would be amusing to come and gallivant around, making people think we are together when we're not and never have been?" Her temper was lighted and while she knew this certainly wasn't the place to unleash it, she didn't stop herself from fixing him with a glare. She kept her scathing remarks low. "And the way you behaved to his girlfriend. His girlfriend! Did you not think about how hard it was for me already to see that he moved on. To try to be happy that the love of my life has moved on and found someone to love when I know I can never have that? And then you flirted with her and antagonized him? What kind of sick bastard are you? Were you trying to get back at me because I refused your offer. That's really rich, Blaise Zabini. Remind me of my own misery because you have a momentary setback to your master plan of finding a ruddy brood mare." It was true, her voice got increasingly louder as she ranted. Hopefully, there weren't many people paying attention to the pair only a few feet from the rest of them.
Theo was standing just outside the door to the balcony, intent on getting some fresh air. Shannon had stomped off somewhere and he found himself relieved. The end would come soon enough. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Tracey's unmistakable and angry voice. She was lashing out Blaise, but it wasn't the anger that caught him. It was the words. "The love of my life" is what she had said. And she had been referring to him. It wasn't something that could be misunderstood. She, the love of his life, still thought of him as the love of hers. Yet, she also was under the misguided view that he was in love with Shannon.
In the eight years apart, he had never loved anyone but her. It was always her. For a reason he never quite understood, he could never truly move on. She was in his heart; she was part of him. He also turned around when he could Blaise reply to her finally.
"Trace, it wasn't like that. It's never been like that. I've loved you since we were kids. He was always the one between us, can't you see that? I know you think you died that day, but you carried on. Look at you, you're here. And we still have a chance to be happy. Let him have his bubble head, who will flirt with any man who charms her. He doesn't deserve your devotion, Trace. Can't you see at least once how it could be with me?"
He sounded more ardent than he ever had. As long as she'd known him he'd never sounded that sincere. It was that that made this all the more hard. She just couldn't. She wouldn't give him what he wanted. Better to be alone than to live a lie. "I can't, Blaise. I can't give you what you want. It isn't mine to give. He's always had it and even now when he doesn't want it, it still belongs to him. As much as I wish I could, I just don't deserve to have a second chance at this. You only get one chance to have someone love you like this. It's a one time deal. I just let mine fall through my fingers." She looked down sadly.
Blaise hardly knew what to say. She'd said no over and over again for years, but he'd always thought it was because she'd kept herself away from Nott, nurturing his memory like she nurtured the flowers in her gardens. He'd hoped that once she saw him, spoke with him again that the illusion would vanish - that she would finally be free to love him back. He wanted to put his mask back up. To pretend this didn't hurt, but it did.
Tracey looked at him and her heart was filled with sorrow. Reaching out to touch his shoulder, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Blaise. I can't- I just have to go. I'm sure Daddy is looking for me." She wiped her final tears, pointed her wand to her face to vanish the streaks that were sure to be there and swiftly walked back into the crowded ballroom.
Blaise cleared his throat, adjusted his tie and tried to school his features before stepping toward the bustling room. A sound on his left made him turn and face the object of his most deepest loathing. The only person he could rightfully admit to himself that he was jealous of. Insanely jealous.
Theo cleared his throat uncomfortably. He had watched Tracey rush by him without saying a word. It was too much to take in. Tracey still loves me was the only thought repeating in his mind over and over. But the look in Blaise's eyes made him feel guilty. He hadn't done anything, but he could empathize with the man. Tracey was a hard -- actually, for Theo, impossible -- woman to get over. Being rejected by her couldn't be easy for him. Despite the fact Theo had a chance and one day, when Shannon was out of the picture, he'd take it, Blaise didn't. "Hello again, Mr. Zabini," he finally said politely.
Blaise glared. "Nott. Enjoy that did you?" His pride was hurt, but not his heart. Never his heart. He tried to tell himself that, but even he knew the thought was a lie. But it would give him comfort when the wizard across from him would only have his bubble-headed mistress -girlfriend- whatever he called her.
"Enjoy that?" Theo repeated, shaking his head. "Of course I didn't. It's a shame she can't see someone standing right in front of her. The idea of her living these past eight years alone... well, I don't exactly find joy in that, Mr. Zabini. In fact, it displeases me personally greatly. She deserves happiness. Even if it's not with you. Or me," he added casually, not backing down from the glare.
Blaise had had enough of hearing, seeing or thinking about Theodore Nott. "Fuck you! You didn't even fight for her. You're a ghost that haunts her now. Telling her she isn't worthy of loving anything or of being loved. I may be just a fool who loves her, but you're the fool she loves... You're a fucking idiot, Nott. Always have been." he said finally, before pushing past the other man, hitting his shoulder as he went.
Theo grabbed his arm, stopping him. "I did fight for her. But I didn't think she wanted to be with me anymore. I wasn't going to force her to be with me. Only a fucking idiot would force themselves on someone," he said scathingly.
Blaise shook his arm free and turned his back on him. All he wanted to do was get out of there. He'd come to watch over Tracey, to hopefully help her move on, but he knew now that he was the one who had some moving on to do.
Tracey watched him leave from beside her father and couldn't say she was sorry to see him go. It hurt, but maybe now he had the smallest inkling of what torture and pain living every day without the other half of your soul was like. She'd had eight years of knowing she'd thrown it away. Now she knew that had Theo come to her even a year after school had finished and told her he still loved her she would have given up everything to be with him. But he hadn't. She didn't, so here she was, standing next to her father who was back to introducing her to everyone she'd need to know when she took over the business.
Theo let him go. He had said all he needed to say, and had even tried to be pleasant. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the edge of the balcony and leaned against the rail. Breathing in the fresh air, he smiled. Somehow the fresh air always made things better; it cleared his head. Tracey still loves me, he thought, still trying to wrap his mind around the idea. Maybe there is a real chance at getting back what we once had. She never said she didn't love me.
He closed his eyes, moving back to the door to go into the ballroom. Right away he noticed Tracey standing dutifully beside her father, looking bored and stiff. Shannon was fluttering behind her, making her way through the crowd. For a moment she looked at Blaise, but a moment later, she turned back to the other guests, a smile on her face. The woman is cold, Theo suddenly noted. Sighing heavily, he walked toward the drinks, getting another glass of wine. All the sudden he wanted and needed alcohol to dull the moment.
Purposely, he didn't catch Tracey's eye. He had to break it off with Shannon completely before he approached Tracey again. She was worth the wait though. She was worth the eight years he had waited for her, and maybe he had always known that.
Tracey's pasted on smile had returned after Blaise left. She was entirely focused on the people she was meeting, storing their names and any additional information her father was feeding her for future needs. She had just finished nodding at whatever Gloria Gwynn, a snitch distributor from Wales was saying, when she turned back briefly to the man her father was speaking to. They were having quite an animated discussion and Tracey, who had been a few feet away, now wandered back to see what was so fascinating. She turned to the man and stopped short. He was tall and thin with dark hair. His face seemed unremarkable until he looked directly at her from behind his wirey glasses. Perhaps if she hadn't seen Theo that night she wouldn't remember that face, but it was all she could to to keep herself from shrieking when she realized who was standing in front of her father.
"Tracey, dear. Come here and meet Aaron Douglas. He's one of my colleagues and you'd do well to meet him." Malcolm motioned to have her join them but her feet weren't letting her move. Almost as though by instinct, she found the eyes of the only man who would understand her horror. Theo must have sensed that she was searching for him because he looked at her immediately and followed her gaze to the dark haired man. There, standing as though he hadn't a care in the world was the man they had both seen murdered that night in Hogsmeade.
Theo had felt a prickle in the back of his neck as if someone was looking at him from behind, following him. Tracey's green eyes were waiting for him when he scanned the ballroom's large crowd in search of the eyes that were fixed on him. She looked terrified. Their eyes held for a small moment before the emerald orbs flickered away and towards a man who was standing in front of her father.
The man was unmistakable. He was the same dark haired, tall wizard who had been in Hogsmeade that night Tracey and he had snuck there. He wore the same wirey glasses that he had almost a decade before over his dark eyes and thin face. Instead of the horrified look on his face that he had had that night, but instead he was an expression of business-like serious interest. Theo felt relieved that he hadn't seem them in the alley watching him "die" or this might be a very different scene.
Theo turned back to Tracey's who was looking at him again; those green eyes that had haunted him for eight years held his for a long moment across the ballroom, not moving toward the man, and unflinching as their history stood right in front of her -- alive and breathing.
