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Title: Pedestal
Author's Notes: All my poems are not fanfic and are personal.

Perhaps I shouldn't have called you friend
But I think you were more of a king
In my mind I threw you on a pedestal
Of someone who could do no wrong
Of someone who I wanted to please

Nothing made me more happy or satisfied
Than the feeling or taste of you on me
With you there was no one else
No one else crossed my mind with you
Or could reach you where you stood

So far away from everyone and me yet close
You were close enough to touch
To feel, to taste, to breathe in
I got lost in you and who you were
But it was only who you were to me

I created a disillusioned portrait of you
Full of flattering illusions and unreal images
That I cultivated solely in my head
Only to have it crumble around me
To make me feel lost when you were gone

In the rumble I still remember your touch
I still see the pedestal where you once stood
Untouched and untarnished in its perfection
For me you will be on that pedestal
You will be in my head and under my skin

In the rumble as I stand beside your pedestal
I feel strangely satisfied and happily alive
With no regrets or no apologies hindering me
Maybe one day I'll replace you on the pedestal
With someone else but they will never be you

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amorphous

March 2017

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